The Lost Studio Session

cd-wilson_lost_studio-session

First recorded in Chicago in 1994, this previously unreleased audio session with the renowned Robert Anton Wilson has been stored away for fifteen years…and almost lost entirely. If Bob knew how many synchronicities surround the rediscovery and release of this “lost” studio session, he would be chuckling in that half jolly, half mischievous way of his. If you believe in any kind of afterlife, maybe you can imagine him laughing right now. I like that image: Bob the laughing Buddha, still having one over on us from the great beyond. – Joseph Matheny

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ILLUMINATUS! character index

an index by Toff Philippo

I=Illuminatus! Trilogy, Dell omnibus

E=Illuminatus! Part I: The Eye in the Pyramid, Dell

G=Illuminatus! Part II: The Golden Apple, Dell

L=Illuminatus! Part III: Leviathan, Dell

 

to convert page numbers from the omnibus to those of the individual volumes or vice versa:

Illuminatus! Trilogy to Eye in the Pyramid: I=E; E=I

Illuminatus! Trilogy to Golden Apple: I-290=G; G+290=I

Illuminatus! Trilogy to Leviathan: I-552=L; L+552=I

To Robert Joseph Shea (b. 1933, d. March 10, 1994), Robert Anton Wilson (b. January 18, 1932), Kerry Wendell Thornley  (b. April 17, 1938, d. November 28, 1998), and Gregory Hill.

A

Cassandra Acconci The beloved daughter of Ronald Acconci; attracted to Simon Moon, impregnated by Harold Canvera; blows whistle on Padre Pederastia s (alleged?) Moritori bomb emporium; assisted in getting an abortion by Milo A. Flanagan and Jim Trepanoma.  I373, G83; I380, G90.

Ronald Acconci Chicago Regional Commander of God s Lightning, and financial contributor to KCUF.  Father of Cassandra Acconci.  I373, G83; I380, G90.

John Alucard  A defense attorney for the Bureau of Indian Affairs.  I156, E.

Dr. Henry Armitage  A character of H.P. Lovecraft’s, appearing in his The Dunwich Horror.   A nice old man, given to talk about cabalistic numbers and Masonic symbols.  He gave, probably posthumously, a strange collection of occult books to Miskatonic University.  I94-95, E; I294, E .

Samuel Arrows  AKA Sam Three Arrows  A Mohawk Indian living on an endangered reservation with (among others, presumably) John Feather; formerly worked construction in NYC.  I151, E.

 

B

Senator Edward Coke Bacon  The United States   most distinguished liberal,  shot in bed by Ben Volpe, Mendy Weiss, and two others.  I313, G23; I361, G71; I438, G148.

Mrs. Edward Coke Bacon  I313, G23; I375.12, G85.

Basil Banghart  FBI agent in Washington, D.C.  I375, G85

Bernard Barker  CIA Bay of Pigs gang, grassy knoll  I69, E; I167, E

Igor Beaver   eager beaver  an inattentive UCLA graduate student working for Dr. Vulcan Troll.  I611, L109; I687, L135; I693, L141.

Professor Richard Belz  physics Queens College  I241, E.

Abadaba Berma  Patron of the Palace Chop House accidentally gunned down on October 23, 1935 instead of Arthur Flegenheimer by Charley Workman, Mendy Weiss, and JaicapoMocenigo.  I351, G61.

Dr. Besetzung  Boston psychiatrist  I181, E.

Ernst Bickler  Nazi Obergruppenfueher revived from Lake Totenkopf.  I647, L95; I650, L98.

Robert Harrison Blake  Character from Robert Bloch s   The Shambler from the Stars  and  The Shadow over the Steeple,  and H.P. Lovecraft’s  The Haunter of the Dark  in Tales of theCthulhu Mythos.  A writer and painter who died investigating the Starry Wisdom Sect in Providence, Rhode Island.  I329.30, G39.30.

Eric the Red  Blowhard  From Eric the Red, the Norse mariner, explorer and colonizer of Greenland circa 986, and Blowhard, an exceptionally boastful and talkative person.  The infamous and mysterious head of BUGGER (Blowhard’s [or Bad] Unreformed Gangsters, Goons, and Espionage Renegades).  Blowhard could be a figment of Fission Chip s imagination, although it seems that BUGGER is an actual organization.  If Blowhard is a real person, Eric the Red Blowhard might be a pseudonym or codename of Hagbard Celine.  The name Eric Blowhard calls to mind the name Johann Beghard, the codename of Milo A. Flanagan.  Celine claims to have Viking blood, named his submarine the Lief Eri(c)kson, and made his captain s control room  a reproduction of the prow of a Viking ship  (I195, E).  He certainly is a blowhard, and does not hesitate to label himself critically, as among other things his use of the title  S.H. indicates.  Likewise, Hagbard would not hesitate to name an organization BUGGER, as (among other things) his naming his computer FUCKUP indicates.  I56, E.

Sherri Brandi  nee Sharon O Farrell d. 1975  A prostitute who works for Carmel, hired by Charles Mocenigo, green dress with spangles, robe.  Dies from exposure to a form of Anthrax Leprosy, and is buried in the desert.  I45; I58.26; I301; I312, G22

Louis  Lepke   Buchalter  I317, G27.

Judge Caligula Bushman  The toughest judge and shining ornament of the Chicago judiciary known for his  King Kong scowl.   Unknowingly dosed with AUM by Joe Malik and Simon Moon, which leads him to want to abandon law and take up mathematics.  I183, E; I628, G76.

 

C

Professor Caligari  The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.  One of Hagbard Celines professors, possibly of naval architecture, possibly at Harvard.  I143, E.

Calley  U.S. Narcotics agent, Eichman s partner AKA Masoch  I499, G209; I505, G215; I587.24, L35.27; I709, L157.

H.C.   Never trust anyone with the initials  H.C.    Harold Canvera, Hagbard Celine, Heathcliffe Clark, Harry Coin, Howard Cork, Hart Crane, H.C. Winifred  I128, E; I324, G34.

Harold Canvera  d.1970 JFK s assassin, fired from grassy knoll; lost a lot of money in Blue Sky, Inc. stocks.  Lives on Fullerton Avenue in Chicago, Illinois and holds a job as an accountant. Best known for making right-wing telephone spiels and pamphlets for WHORE.  Dosed with AUM by Joe  Malik and Simon Moon, and subsequently shot for impregnating CassandraAcconci.  I368-373, G78-83; I380, G90; I586-87, L34-35.

Carella  Joe Friday s secretary?  I519, G229

Carlo(s)  Morituri Undergrounder who tests George Dorn s dedication to the revolution; God s Lightning?  I224-225, E; I229, E; I240, E; I246,E; I264.40, E; I305, G15; I512, G222

Carmel  d. 1975 5 2  mouth of mournful weasel, Sherri Brandi and Bonnie Quint s fairly abusive pimp, lives at Date Street, Las Vegas, Nevada, blue turtleneck brown suit, demands bjs from his girls, eats caramel candy when excited, has deadly rose fever.  Becomes a carrier of Anthrax Leprosy, infecting Bonnie Quint, Markoff Chaney, and Horace Naismith.  I17; I45; I301; I415, G125; I800, L248

Sheriff James “Jim” Cash Cartwright  little short fat man, hot reptilian palms, breath smells of bourbon and cheap cigars, Sheriff of Mad Dog, Texas, Episkopos of Mad Dog Cabal of LDD; author of How the Ancient Bavarian Conspiracy Plotted and Carried Out the Assassinations of Malcolm X, John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jr., George Lincoln Rockwell, Robert Kennedy, Richard M. Nixon, George Wallace, Jane Fonda, Gabriel Conrad, and Hank Brummer.  Arrests and imprisons George Dorn; initiates Tobias Knight into LDD.  I30, E; I67, E; I561, G271; I578, L26; I613, L61; I637, L85; I691, L139

Sister Cecilia  Joseph Malik s childhood teacher in Resurrection School.  I135, E

Freeman Hagbard Celine, H.M., S.H.  Holy Man, Shit Head  [Principia Discordia 00005] Celine, a French feminine name; variant of Celia or Selena. One of seven mythological daughters of Atlas transformed by Zeus into stars of the Pleiades constellation.  Has olive skin, thick black eyebrows, black hair, beard, strong nose and jaw, muscles, hairy brown fingers, hands, and forearms, resembles Anthony Quinn, Variously wears a black and green striped nautical sweater, turtleneck and casual slacks; lederhosen, silk shirt, knee socks, brass-buttoned navy-blue yachtsman s blazer, smokes foul long black Sicilian cigars, born in Norway to an Italian pimp and a blonde haired, blue eyed Norwegian prostitute, also has Viking ancestors, Harvard Law School graduate; citizen of Fernando Poo, captain of the Lief Eri(c)kson, a five city block long, nuclear submarine, with a three story high conning tower he either infiltrated U.S. Navy for the Illuminati and stole it (I582.36, L30.36), or it was given to him by the Mafia for the purpose heroin smuggling (I536.2, G246.2), or he made it himself in a Norwegian fjord (I83, E; I536.3, G246.3), author of Never Whistle While You re Pissing.  Possibly uses Eric  the Red  Blowhard as a pseudonym.  I9, E; I23, E; I82, E

Markoff Chaney Markoff Chain, a related series in a random process.  AKA The Midget, THE MGT.   His father was stockholder in Blue Sky Inc.  Frequently cut his classes at Antioch, Yellow Springs.  Addicted to Playboy and pornographic tarot cards.  I71, E; I385, G95; I805, L253

Charley guard in Mad Dog, Texas jail I36, E

Jesus Jehovah Lucifer Satan Chief Rhoda Chief s infant son.  I600, L48

Rhoda Chief  Buxom Wiccan and apprentice witch in coven led by Lady Velkor, mother of Jesus Jehovah Lucifer Satan Chief, Heads of Easter Island s vocalist; doses Kool-Aid at WoodstockEuropa with LSD, as a result of subtle suggestion from Lady Velkor.  I600, L48; I609, L57

 Fission Chips  AKA 00005, b. August 6, 1945 (Hiroshima Day).   Fish and Chips,  a typical, even stereotypical, English meal.  English Secret Agent obsessed with BUGGER; tawny-skinned, coffee colored women (like Concepcion Galore) are his Holy Grail; named by father who cared more about physics than humanities, dark hair combed straight back, piercing eyes, cruel handsome face, trim athlete s body.  Reports to W.  I55, E; I70, E; I135, E; I138, E; I476, G186; I639, L87

Captain Clark Acid-tripping pilot of Braniff jet in Telemachus Sneezed, who plunges into the North Atlantic on route to Ingolstadt.  I541, G251

Captain Heathcliffe Clark English pilot of Braniff jet Simon Moon and Mary Lou Servix and Danny Pricefixer take from Chicago O Hare, Kennedy International to Germany.  I541, G251

Patty Cohen nine year old Jewish girl  I359, G69

Harry Coin  6’6”  long, thin, skinny, snakey looking, skull-like face, large protruding front teeth, bucktoothed, self-described  white nigger  sent on six or seven assassination missions: four whites two blacks, Attempted to shoot JFK from atop the triple underpass.  Willing to have sex with anyone or anything, and partial to rape or sadism.  I32, E; I86, E; I109, E; I172, E; I412, G122; I491, G201; I502, G212; I543, G253; I559, G269; I697, L145

Vincent “Mad Dog” Coll  I76; I326, G36.

Jafsie Condon “Dutch” Schultz  high school principal  I514, G224.

Sergeant Luke Conlon I352, G62.

Howard Cork  captain of Life Eternal in Telemachus Sneezed  I542, G252.

W. Clement  Clem  Cotex, Ph.d.  From Little Rock, Arkansas, dosed with AUM in Chicago.  Author of Orthodox Science: The New Religion; recalls the name Stanley Kotex from Thomas Pynchon’s Crying of Lot 49.  I226, E; I374, G84.

Hart Crane  b. July 21, 1899, d. April 27, 1932  Real life acquaintance of H.P. Lovecraft,  homosexual, poet.  I181, E.

Professor Curve  I274, E.

 

D

Dealy Lama  old man, long white beard, white robe, head of ELF, located below sewers of Dealy Plaza, Dallas, Texas.  Gruad?  I389, G99; I482, G192; I687; I725, L173.

Dean Deane  Columbia University  I187, E.

DeSalvo  Works at Las Vegas CIA office, takes coffee urn holding Markoff Chaney to the Papa Mescalito Sandwich Shop, where Chaney escapes.  I414, G124.

Esperando Despond  FBI Special Agent in charge for Los Angeles  I342, G52; I413, G123.

Fred  Fidgets  Digits  Antioch math professor who embarrasses Markoff Chaney, hence  the Midget versus the Digits.   I386, G96.

The five John Dillingers  b. June 22, 1903

John Edgar Dillinger  d. 1943 Fast and furious, a hothead who died of a heart attack.  I690, L138.

John Herbert Dillinger  The smartest and oldest Dillinger, who was initiated into the JAMs by Harry Pierpont.  runs Laughing Buddha Jesus Phallus Inc. (LBJP) productions, lives in Los Angeles.  Tries to track down Anthrax Leprosy Mu in Las Vegas.  I125-134; I608-609; I690, L138; I642; I659; I693, L141; I803, L251.

John Hoover Dillinger  Lives in Mad Dog, TX as D.J. Hoover.  With James Cartwright s approval, breaks George Dorn out of jail with help from Mavis.  Gave Horace Naismith the idea for the John Dillinger Died for You Society.  I690, L138.

John-John Dillinger  Kills Wolfgang Saure in Ingolstadt, Germany.  I645; I689, L137; I706-707; I715.

John Thomas Dillinger  d. 1969  Was in Chicago in 1968 on assignment for the JAMs, meeting with Fission Chips, and got tear gassed outside the Hilton Hotel, dying from his asthma as complicated by the tear gas.  I691, L139.

George Dorn  b. ~1952, staff writer for Confrontation, from Nutley, New Jersey, Capricorn, shoulder length blond hair, initiated into LDD by Stella; attended Columbia University where he pursued a liberal-arts curriculum; used to be in SDS and close to Weatherman faction; G&AT uniform of green tunic with tiny golden apple on left breast, tight black trousers, black boots; fashionable cutaway and knee breeches of red velvet with bottle-green stockings  I23; I28; I799, L247.

George Dorn’s older brother.  Character from James Wades  The Deep Ones  in Tales of the Cthulhu Mythos, edited by August Derleth (Arkham House, 1969).  I375, G85; I804, L252.

Mrs. Dorn  a baptist, Virgo, lives in Nutley New Jersey a Catholic dominated town  G138; I755, L203.

Old Drake  G261; L122.

Robert Putney Drake  b. August 6, 1902, Boston Irish, white haired, clear ice blue eyes, concave nose ending in small point, strong, cleft chin, farts when nervous  I75; I87; L70; I90; I95.

 

E

Eichmann  U.S. Narcotics agent, Calley s partner AKA Sade (the Marquis DeSade was Eristic [I321])  I499, G209; I587; I709, L157. 

Albert Feather  taxi driver  I464, G174.

Uncle John Feather  A Mohawk Indian living on a reservation who had been in the army.  I151; I156, E; I494, G204.

Dr. Fred Filiarisus  resembles Boris Karloff, employee of U.S. Public Health Service  I423, G133.

Father James Flanagan brother of Milo A. Flanagan, AKA Padre Pederastia

Milo A. Flanagan White man with wavy white hair, bushy salt and pepper eyebrows, and a shrewd, distinguished face.  Lives at 2323 Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois.  Helped JimTrepanoma arrange an abortion for Cassandra Acconci. fourth degree Illuminatus AKA Brother Johann Beghard.  Illinois State s Attorney, killed in his brother James apartment by Otto Waterhouse on Hagbard Celine’ s orders.  I88; I259; G77.

Arthur Flegenheimer  AKA  The Dutchman  AKA  Dutch Schultz   I75; I 90.

Miss Forbes  Mary Lou Servix s mean first grade teacher.  I641, L89.

Evelyn  Billie  Frechette  b. Sept 15, 1907, d. Jan. 13, 1969 John Dillinger s girlfriend, Menominee Indian  I59, E; I98, E; L36; L86.

Sergeant Joe Friday  A detective in NYC Bunco-Fraud who imitates his television namesake from Dragnet.  I519, G229.

Nkrumah Fubar  FUBAR is an acronym similar to SNAFU; FUBAR: Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition.  Kikiyu shaman, maker of voodoo dolls, Nairobi  I7; G22; I393, G103; I658, L106; L219.

Richard Buckminster Fuller b. 1895, d. 1983  U.S. engineer, designer, and architect  I58.24, E; I66.39, E; G103; L107.

 

G

Concepcion Galore  d. 1975  Pussy Galore,  from Octopussy.  A young lady, a good piece of ass in Fernando Poo who sleeps with Fission Chips.  Used to work for a telegraph office, where she would read Starry Wisdom telegrams.  Senselessly murdered, apparently by the Assassins, although Chips naturally blames BUGGER.  I135; I138; G191.

Mrs. Gamhill  Lovecraft s aunt Annie Emeline Phillips Gamwell  b. July 10, 1866 d. January 29,  1941 I330.8, G40.8.

Getty  Boston, Massachusetts janitor  I334, G44.

Professor Morrison Glynn  A staunch conservative, a Catholic at Columbia University.  I187; I193.

Harry Godzilla  Simcoe, Ontario  I9.

Sasparilla Godzilla  Harry Godzilla s wife.  Simcoe, Ontario  I9.

Rebecca Murphy Goodman  b. 1950 Saul Goodman s young wife, whom he met in 1972 while she was a prostitute and heroin addict.  She had formerly been an anthropology major, minoringin psychology. She has a mole on her hip.  Has collection of anthropology books, mostly African; author of He Opened the Cages; The Golden Apples of the Sun, the Silver Apples of the Moon.  I10; I59; I215; L51; L107; L185; I800, L248.

Sandra Goodman  Saul s late first wife, who died of cancer.  I10; I604.

Saul Goodman  (1912?-1983) A detective and head of Homicide North.  A short man, who wears a fedora, smokes a pipe, has gray hair and glasses.  Longtime friend of Barney Muldoon.  I10.

Gracchus Gruad  I575, L23.

Gretchen  German-speaking, blue-eyed stewardess aboard Heathcliffe Clarke s flight from Chicago to Germany.  I541.

 

H

Hanfgeist  The name is German for hempghost.  Nazi General revived from Lake Totenkopf.  L98.

Henry Hastur  I576 L2.

Hauptmann  Chief of field operations for Federal Republic of Germany s police, tall and thin, close-cropped silver gray hair, long vulpine features, piercing eyes.  Fifteen years old at the end of WWII.  I663, L111; L151.

Reverend William Helmer (W.H.)  Confrontation religious writer  I120-121, E; I160.

James Patrick Hennessey  NYC patrolman, has retarded son, fish collector.  Bemoans loss of Egyptian Mouth Breeders. I13, E.

Reverend Hill  Harry Coin s minister in Biloxi  G254.

Zev Hirsch  New York State Commander of God s Lightning, framed for Confrontation bombing, tipped off by Pat Walsh.  I89.

Adolf Hitler  Impolite old man with white mustache and unruly forelock.  Dies on a toilet in the Donau Hotel in Ingolstadt, Germany and buried in Ingolstadt Hebrew Burial Grounds.  I217-219, E; I356, G66; I607, L55; I667, L115; I697, L145; I699, L147; I717.

S.M. Holland  Man in railroad shack in Dallas, Texas.  See Statement of S. M. Holland, Warren Commission Hearings 19, p. 473, taken 11/22/63:  I515, G225.

Billy Holtz Nutley, New Jersey school bully  I401, G111.

Atlanta Hope  author of Telemachus Sneezed and Militarism: The Unknown Ideal for the New Heracleitean, has an older brother with a successful career; one of the five who runs the U.S.  Attended Antioch?  I70; I86; I293; G96; L126.

Doris Horus  A librarian at Miskatonic University with fantastic boobs,  the Miskatonic Messalina.   I94; I294; I605, L53; I627, L75.

Howard  dolphin, Envoy between the Dolphins and Hagbard Celine.  I8; I45; I59; I211; I246; G222; L45; L152.

 

I

ibn Azif  the son of Azif, a disciple of Hassan i Sabbah I141; I216Dr. Ignotium  Dr. Iggy  Per Ignotius   the unknown explained by the still more unknown  head of Joshua Norton Cabal,Malaclypse the Younger’s successor; from Principia Discordia 00013  I275, E.

Maria Imbrium  Vocalist with the Sicilian Dragon Defense.  I627, L75.

Judge Quasimodo Immhotep  Justice of the Federal Court for the 17th District of New York State.  I156, E; I184.

 

J

Peter  Pete  Jackson  Associate Editor of Confrontation; truly black man, vest, Harvard graduate  I20; I23; I28; I192; G83; G86; G91; G150; L20; L22; I800, L248.

Joshua  An elderly sailor aboard the Lief Erickson  I257.

Jubela  A gigantic black  I186, E; I672, L120.

Jubelo  A fishlike creature  I186, E; I672, L120.

Jubelum  A hunchbacked dwarf  I186, E; I672, L120.

Carl Jung  I324, G34.

Richard Jung  Drake s chief counselor.  A tall young Chinese man with a boney face and unruly black hair.  I268; I281; I343, G53; I348.

 

K

Mary Keating  black, killed by Otto Waterhouse  I713, L163.

Professor “Sheets” Kelly  Antioch professor, whose course on textual analysis of modern poetry was taken by Markoff Chaney.  I387, G97.

Clark Kent  black musician Clark Kent and His Supermen AKA Robert Pearson

Paul Klee  I315, G25.

George Kharis  A defense attorney for the Bureau of Indian Affairs.  I156, E; I184.

Tobias Knight  walrus mustache, pentuple agent: FBI, CIA, A A, Illuminati, LDD (also GL, Naval Intelligence, Pinkertons) Ringo Erigena, Prince of Wands E; prejudiced against Italians  I264; G52; G92; G123; G255; G270; L17; L49; I803, L251.

Congressman Koch  I44.

Kolmer  Acquaintance of Adam Weishaupt.  I262.35, E; I743, L191.

Heinrich Krause Nazi private revived from Lake Totenkopf.  L95.

Marty Krompier I514, G224.

Gottfried Kuntz  Nazi Corporal revived from Lake Totenkopf.  L95.

Peter Kurten  CIA  I414, G124.

 

L

F.J. Lang  police stenographer  I352, G62.

Lehrman  C.I.A. Homicide, partner of Robinson  I19; I602, L50.

Edwin M. Lillibridge Character from Robert Bloch s   The Shambler from the Stars  and  The Shadow over the Steeple,  and H.P. Lovecraft s  The Haunter of the Dark  in Tales of the CthulhuMythos.  A reporter who died or disappeared in 1893 while investigating the Starry Wisdom Sect in Providence, Rhode Island.  I329.30, G39.30.

Semper Cuni Linctus  Always cunnilingus.  A centurian who nails Jesus to the cross.  I220, E; I319, G29; I324, G34; I560, G270.

Jorge Lobengula  young Discordian author of Vampirism, The Heliocentric Theory and the Gold Standard  I573, L21; I575, L23.

Howard Phillips Lovecraft  Author of fantasy and supernatural horror best known for what is called his  Cthulhu Mythos.   Benefit Street, Providence, Rhode Island  I329, G39

Charles  Lucky  Luciano 

Skip Lynch  a North Clark street hippie Chicago, Illinois  I262.16, E.

 

M

Donald MacArthur  black, killed by Otto Waterhouse  I713, L163.

Malaclypse the Elder  appears as Calvin Coolidge, Billy Graham, Jean-Paul Sartre  I323; G30; G45; I784.

Malaclypse the Younger, K.S.C.  (Keeper of the Sacred Chao [I83]) left Norton Cabal for ELF, went into Silence, walked into Pacific like Randy Driblette in Thomas Pynchon’s Crying of Lot 49.  I275; I323; I803.

John Wayne Malatesta  shady Las Vegas gentleman who switches Carmel s briefcase  I789, L237.

Don Federico “Banana Nose” Maldonado  short, thin man, large nose resembling an eggplant, glasslike eyes, waxen face resembling Pope Paul VI.  I18; I47.24; I69; I75.

Joseph “Joe” Wendall/Wendell Malik (J.M.)  b. 1927, Malik  one who knows  in Carcosan,  one who leads,  Editor of Confrontation, Arab-American, crew-cut gray hair, horn-rimmed glasses looks like a suburban Connecticut doctor, lives in an old brownstone apartment on Riverside Drive, enjoys listening to the Museum of National History record The Language and Music of the Wolves, wall covered with pictures of GW and AW Frequently uses pseudonyms with the initials  J.M., including  James Mallison, Joseph Mallison, Professor J.D. Mallison,   John Mason,  Jerry Mallory, and  Jim Mallory.    I92; I114; I219.35, E.

Peter Pall Mall  Pall Mall, a brand of cigarettes, his name also calls to mind the band  Peter, Paul and Mary. Leader of band the Closed Corporation  I618.22, L66.22.

Marcus Marconi  I575, L23.

Miss Stella Maris (S-M)  Name means  star of the sea.  A lovely black lady, Afro hairdo, purple tinted lips, tawny beige palms, heavy conical breasts, abundant pubic hair, long legs, eyes huge obsidian pools.  An exhibitionist who changes clothing in front of others.  wetsuit; one-piece zippered gold knit pantsuit; peasant skirt, blouse, vest; cute chinese pajamas; white robe; short red leather skirt, white plastic belt; tight fitting golden yellow slack ensemble  Presides over George Dorn s initiation into LDD.  Presides over Joe Malik s initiation into Dr. Ignotium P.Ignotius  San Francisco Joshua Norton JAM Cabal.  I85; G143; G176; G215.

Professor Joshua N. Marsh  Marsh, a common surname from the Cthulhu Mythos, although H.P. Lovecraft only used it in his “The Shadow Over Innsmouth.”  However, the name Joshua Marsh is not from the Mythos, but it is one of the few  J.M. names in Illuminatus! that is not a pseudonym of Joe Malik s.  The Professor is an anthropologist and author of Atlantis and its Gods, and goes missing from Miskatonic University.  He is unsuccessfully sought out by Danny Pricefixer.  I294; I294; I297-301, E; I520.18, G230.18.

Mavis  A Mavis is a bird, a song thrush.  Has smooth, cool, soft lips, long legs, small well shaped, apple-sized dark cherry-tipped conical breasts, round curvy ass, black-escutcheoned crotch, has a tattoo of a red eye in a red and white triangle between her breasts, about which she is violently defensive;  hot lederhosen  short tight leather breeches; translucent red harem pajamas; forest-green tights, white patent leather boots, wide white belt, loose blouse; trench coat, no bra, tight black sweater and blue jeans, wide black belt, metallic looking gold panties  Married to Hagbard Celine by Miss Portinari.  I251; G116; L62; L72.

Kevin McCool  poet  I65.

Dr. Charles “Soapy” Mocenigo  pale, skinny, introverted genius, atheist,  washes hands when under tension, MIT, redwood walls and burnt orange decor Anthrax Leprosy Mu  I24; I45; I58.24; I66; I575, L23.

Jaicapo “Jimmy the Shrew”  Mocenigo  Charles  father  I54; I75; L49; I802, L250.

Mickey  Cocktails  Molotov  A fictional hard-boiled detective like Mickey Spillane, Molotov Cocktail.  detective in Telemachus Sneezed  I541, G251

David J. Monroe  black, killed by Otto Waterhouse  I713, L163

Molly Moon  anarcho-pacifist, into Tolstoy, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Ammon Hennacy; saw  John Dillinger  gunned down; works with Women for Peace.  Tim s widow, and Simon s mother.  I59.

Simon Moon  b. 1946, wild hair, curly black beard, youngest member of Beat Generation, black women are his Holy Grail, graduate of mathematics at Antioch, Yellow Springs.  Son of Tim and Molly.  I27; I92; G247; L57; L209.

Tim Moon  d. 1967 Simon s late father, Wobbly, into Kropotkin, Bakunin; blue eyes; an Aries  I635, L83; I803, L251.

James Moran  A defense attorney for the Bureau of Indian Affairs.  I156, E.

Thomas Moriarity  A defense attorney for the Bureau of Indian Affairs.  I156.

Mr. Mortimer  Atlanta Hope s secretary  I89.

Barney Muldoon  b. ~1915, sixty years old, manners of a Hollywood cop, Bomb Squad, home at 1472 Pleasant Avenue, Trenton, New Jersey, big Irishman.  Longtime friend of Saul Goodman.  I11; I95; I204.

Gregory Muldoon  Barney and Molly s 23 year old son  I189, E.

Father James Augustine Muldoon  Barney s brother  I106; I167, E.

Kerry Muldoon  Barney and Molly s 25 year old son  I189, E.

Molly Muldoon  Barney s wife   I189, E; I659, L107.

Roger Muldoon  Barney and Molly s 28 year old son  I189, E.

 

N

Dr. Horace Naismith  small, slight man, bandito mustache, cowboy hat, head of John Dillinger Died for You Society, president of WHORE, also runs VSR, the Colossus of Yorba Linda Foundation, and MACHO.  I418, G128.

Fred Nanetti  a kid with a broken arm  I183.

Emperor Joshua Norton I.  Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico. He lived in 1800’s and got to be emperor by proclaming himself as such. The newspapers humored him, when he started printing his own money the local banks accepted it. for more information on Emperor Norton, click here.  I276, E.

Dr. Nils Nosferatu  nuclear physicist in Princeton, New Jersey  I375, G85.

 

O

Sergeant O’Banion  racist, anticommunist  Chicago, Illinois cop.  I467, G177.

Frank Ochuck  God s Lightning  I242.

Stanislaus Oedipuski (1924-November 23, 1970) deceased member of God s Lightning, West Irving Park Road, Chicago, Illinois, attended KCUF Sheraton-Chicago meeting  I235-236,E.Otto Ogatai  I576, L24.

Jim O’Malley  Desk Sergeant in Chicago police station who knew Tim Moon.  I183, E.

Professor Orlock  One of Hagbard Celine s law professors at Harvard.  I143.

Lee Harvey Oswald  I27; I111; I801.

 

P

Robert Pearson  AKA El Hajj/Haj Starkerlee/Stackerlee Mohammed, n  Pearson AKA Pearson Mohammed Kent AKA Clark Kent AKA Stack.  El Haj(j) suggests that he had performed the islamic hajj, or pilgrimage, to Mecca in Saudi Arabia just as done by El Hajj Malik Shabazz (Malcolm X).  Clark Kent is, of course, the secret identity of Superman, hence his band s name  Clark Kent and His Supermen.   Stackerlee, Stack for short, or Stagger Lee, Stag for short (and many other variant spellings exist), was a  Negro Murder Ballad  about a legendary bad man feared by the police, Death, and the Devil alike.    Bobby Seale, a Black Panther  named his son after Stagger Lee, who he said was a positive role model for black men   Stagger Lee: A Historical Look at the Urban Legend by Tony Kullen.  Robert Pearson is a tall black man with a master s in anthropology; white women are his Holy Grail; he served as a Private at Fort Benning with Hagbard Celine.  Has sex in Ingolstadt, Bavaria, Germany with Danny Pricefixer, Lady Velkor, Atlanta Hope, and evidently a fifth, possibly Doris Horus.  The variant spelling Starkerlee in Illuminatus! is probably a typo (consider the positions of C and R on a keyboard), but does also suggest the variant spellings of the name in the song.  I27; I114; I145; I372; I393, G103.

Padre Pederastia  really named Father James Flanagan, leads SSS Black Mass, slightly red-faced middle-aged man  I64; I115; G44; I803, L251.

Perri the squirrel  Central Park, NYC  I7; I27; I99; I673, L121; L247; I799.

August “Gus” Personage  Great person, which he is not.  Makes obscene phone calls from public phones, one of his victims is Rebecca Goodman, leaves behind stickers declaring “This phone booth reserved for Clark Kent.”  I27; I215; G103; G223; G258; L91; I660, L108; L121.

Professor Percival Petsdeloup  Columbia history professor  I222.

Harry L. Pierpont  b. October 13, 1902, d. October 17, 1934 Habitual bank robber in Michigan City prison who initiates John Herbert Dillinger into the JAMs.  I29, E; I126; I279.

Miss Portinari  b. 1960? young Italian girl clearly no older than fifteen, dark skin, hair in a bun, golden apple ring; yellow robe  G139; G253; G269; L110; L119; L147; L163; L222.

Danny Pricefixer  d. 1977 young redhead detective who finds Illuminati Project memos, former Arkham, Massachusetts detective in charge of search for Joshua Marsh, former Army Intelligence, nonsmoker, not a Virgo.  Gets a reading from Mama Sutra.  I13; I20; I171; I295; L109; I800, L248.

Captain Puta  leader of successful Fernando Poo countercoup, friendly to Americans and popular with the Bubi and the Fang.  I481.21, G191.21; I601.18, L49.18.

The Purple Sage  He appears only in the quotes prefixing chapters.  The Purple Sage is a character from the Principia, where a different quote is ascribed to him.   14. Wipe thine ass with what is written and grin like a ninny at what is Spoken.  Take thine refuge with thine wine in the Nothing behind Everything, as you hurry along the Path   HBT; The Book of Predictions, Chap. 19, in Principia Discordia, page 00013.  I7; I91; I799.

Melvin Purvis  d. Feb. 29, 1960  The FBI agent who gunned down Frank Sullivan in Chicago, thinking it was John Dillinger.  Relegated to the Post Toasties Junior G-Men I547, G257.

 

Q

Bonnie Quint  A teenaged black prostitute employed by Carmel, 5 2  90-100 lbs, often hired by John Wayne Malatesta.  I415, G125; G131; L237.

 

R

Rancid  butler in Drake Mansion  I675, L122.

Omar Khayam Ravenhurst, K.S.C.  (Keeper of the Sacred Chao [I83])  I799, L247.

Taffy Reingold  pert, attractive, gray hair, inspiration for characters in Atlanta Hope s and Edison Yerby s novels, works in Monotony Monitoring for Alligator Control  I570, L18.

Abe Reles  I319, G29; I513, G223.

Diamond Jim Rhinestone  Fictional dope pusher in Telemachus Sneezed, allied with Blind Tigers and Enlightened Ones; Taffy s evil brother  I540, G250.

Taffy Rhinestone  Rape-magnet heroine of Telemachus Sneezed  I538, G248.

James V. Riley  Catholic, Dayton police sergeant, formerly of Mooresville, Indiana police.  Father of Jim.  I92, E.

Jim Riley  Dayton dope dealer, James  son; frequently travels between NYC and Cuernavaca, Mexico; marries Mary Lou Servix  I32, E; I92, E; I802, L250.

Indole Ringh  Hindu anthropologist in Orabi, North America  I435, G145; I658, L106.

Robinson Beard, C.I.A. Homicide, possibly undercover in Weather Underground partner of Lehrman  I19; I602, L50.

Fred Robinson  black, killed by Otto Waterhouse  I713, L163.

Anthony Rogers  black, killed by Otto Waterhouse  I713, L163.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt  Monotony Monitor in Alligator Control, New York City.  I233; I570, L18.

Lulu Rosenkrantz  Lulu, a remarkable or outstanding person, which she is not.  Patron of the Palace Chop House accidentally gunned down on October 23, 1935 instead of Arthur Flegenheimerby Charley Workman, Mendy Weiss, and Jaicapo Mocenigo.  I351, G61.

Rosetta the Stoned  Rosetta Stone.  Times Square drug dealer.  I32.

Mark Rudd  Columbia University student, probably affiliated with SDS or Weathermen; acquaintance of George Dorn.  I32; I18.

 

S

Mark Sanders  black, killed by Otto Waterhouse  I713, L163.

The Saures  all strange-, owl-, icy blue-eyed, ash-blond, bony faces, born in Wolframs-Eschenbach, Bavaria, Germany  I471, G181.

Werner Saure  twin of Wilhelm, drowned in Lake Totenkopf in his Mercedes when the George Washington Bridge is demolished (I651, L99)

Wilhelm Saure  twin of Werner, possessed by a lloigor and drowned himself in Lake Totenkopf (I650, L98)

Winifred Saure  AMA vocalist, long blond hair, drowned by porpoises in Lake Totenkopf (I653, L101)

Wolfgang Saure  AMA leader and drummer, killed by John-John Dillinger with thirty silver bullets, and fell into Lake Totenkopf (I653, L101)

Konrad Schein  SS Colonel revived from Lake Totenkopf.  I647, L95.

Ponell Scott  black, killed by Otto Waterhouse  I713, L163.

Tarantella Serpentine  A tarantella is a rapid, whirling Italian dance.  6 2  with long blond hair, pink nipples, trained by Illuminati  I286, E; E351, G61.

Mary Lou Servix  Cervix, the back part of the neck, any necklike part, especially the constricted lower end of the uterus.  Lovely black woman.  Was once impregnated by Hassan i Sabbah X and had an abortion.  Cop sent by Milo Flanagan to infiltrate the Lincoln Park Nameless Anarchist Horde, hooks up with Simon Moon; marries Jim Riley.  A little kid in the early 1950s.  I32; G247; L14; L36; L57; L80; L100; L174; L179; I802, L250.

Phil Silverberg  I353, G63.

Buck  Star  The first mate of Life Eternal in Telemachus Sneezed.  I542, G252.

Albert “The Teacher” Stein/Stern  I76; I351.

B.F. Sullivan  Grocer and Mason robbed by Dillinger in 1924.

Frank Sullivan  AKA  Papa Piaba  well-hung Dillinger look-alike killed in Dillinger s stead.  I28; I69; I75.

C.L Sulzberger  I445, G155.

Mama Sutra  b. 1898 Kama Sutra.  Fortuneteller who looks like Maria Ouspenskaya; streaked hair with gray when thirty.  I519, G229; I678, L126.

 

T

General Lawrence Stewart Talbot  I342, G52; I803, L251.

Captain/Generalissimo Ernesto/Jesus Tequila y Moto  Caucasian leader of coup in Fernando Poo.  I18; I445, G155; L17; L23.

Theda Theodora  I575, L23.

Professor Tochus  Name possibly from tochis, or tokis, meaning the buttocks.  Harvard psychology professor who taught Robert Putney Drake, and later Hagbard Celine.  I136; I142; I315, G25.

James J. “Smiling Jim” Trepanoma  The president of Knights of Christianity United in Faith (KCUF), the acroym calling to mind radio station KCUF from Thomas Pynchon’s Crying of Lot 49.  Helps Milo A. Flanagan arrange an abortion for Cassandra Acconci.  Determined to kill the Last American Eagle, and does.  I91; I380; G90; I661, L109; I687, L135; I693, L141; I731, L179; L246.

Herbie” Speed King” Trimegistos  Hermes Trismegistos, hermes thrice-great.  Acid-tripping drummer with the Credibility Gap, obsessed with Tyl Eulenspeigel.  I606, L54.

Dr. Vulcan Troll  A seizmologist and the author of When a State Dies.  L109; L141; L246.

Miss Mao Tsu-Hsi  Mao means cat, making her full name, approximately, pussy sushi.  Little, beautiful Chinese woman, black eyes, long black hair reaching small of her back, thick, hairy armpits, headband with K printed on golden apple; headband with golden apple inside a pentagon (official signal of the Knights of the Five-Sided Castle!?); sleeveless dress with zipper down front, coat, no underwear; Has sex in a taxi with Joe Malik and brings him to see an ELF training film; attendee of BaHais and Vedanta Society meetings; member of A A and Naval Intelligence and LDD.  I64.8; I69; I257; I442, G152; I520, G230; I560, G270.

 

U

Roy Ubu  A tall, bearish CIA agent at the Las Vegas office.  I414, G124; G132.

Dr. Faustus Unbewusst  Robert Putney Drake s psych.  I415, L125.

 

V

Homer V. Van Meter   b. Dec 3, 1906, d. Aug. 23, 1934 I129, EVan Meter  Homicide  I519, G229.

Lady Velkor  astonishingly beautiful, lovely body, flaming red hair, smoldering green eyes, large breasts, fine nipples, not a Virgo, worships the Great Mother Isis; jokes about memories of 18th century Bavaria; green peasant blouse, green hotpants  I117; L49; L91; I651, L99; I661, L109.

Buzz Vespa  A small waspish CIA agent at the Las Vegas office.  I414, G124.

Sister Victoria  Possibly drugged and kidnapped Saul Goodman and Barney Muldoon after they left Joe Malik’s brownstone.  I174.10.

Eddie Vitelli  Of the Providence, Rhode Island gambling, heroin and prostitution Vitellis, reports to Maldonado.  I333, G43.

Sigmund Voegel  Nazi Oberlieutenant revived from Lake Totenkopf.  L95.

Ben “Bennie” Volpe  A young Italian top of Dallas County Records (Dal-Tex) building  I172; I313, G23; I515.

Father Volpe  Joseph Malik s principal in Resurrection School.  I135; I137.

 

W

W: Fission Chips s superior in London British Intelligence.  I71; I138

James Walking Bear  Peyote tripping Menominee Indian who knew Billie Freschette.  I121, E; I646, L94.

George Wallace  FBI director  I362, G72.

Miss Patricia  Pat  Walsh (P.W.)  Member of the Confrontation Research Department, author of Illuminati Project memos, reports to Council on Foreign Relations and Zev Hirsch.  I32; I73-74, E; I163; I171; G33; G239; G246; L20; L89; L119-120.

Patrolman/Lieutenant Otto Waterhouse  When eight, was beaten, knifed and thrown into Lake Michigan.  6 6  tall black cop with an apartment in Hyde Park.  I260; I365, G75; G174; L37; L63; L76.

Adam Weishaupt   A.W.  (b. February 6, 1748, d. November 18, 1830)  I, E; I800.

Eve Weishaupt  I343-344, G53-54; I533, G243; I743, L191.

Mendy Weiss  I75, E; I313, G23.

Epicene “Eppy” Wildeblood  Epicene, meaning effeminate, which he is.  NY s bitchiest literary critic, a freelancer who sometimes works for Confrontation.  I376, G86; I381, G91.

H.C. Winifred  d. April 30, 1975, a U.S. Justice Department civil servant, Scotus Pythagoras  I234; I346, G56; I356, G65; G224; I545, G255; I629, L77.

Charley “The Bug” Workman  I75; G23; G223.

 

X

Hassan i Sabbah X  Possibly Hassan i Sabbah the Tenth, but being black, the X could indicate membership in the Nation of Islam, the Black Muslims (or a sect thereof).  Once impregnated Mary Lou Servix.  Leader of the Cult of the Black Mother.  G267; I589, L37; I602, L50; I605, L53; I636; I762, L210.

 

Y

Arturo Jesus Maria Ybarra y Mendez  Cuernavaca marijuana farmer who sells in bulk to Jim Riley.  I32, E.

Edison Yerby  Prolific mass-market novelist, based one of his characters on Taffy Reingold.  I538, G248; I570, L18.

Yeshua ben Yosef  Jesus, son of Joseph.  I232, E.

 

Atlanteans:

 Grayface  Gruad  Gruad is an Atlantean word meaning worm, serpent or dragon.  100 year old mutant scientist, short blond hair on head, close cropped beard, no fur, high-collared pale green robe and gauntlets, cloak.  Founder of the Party of Science: symbol is eye-in-triangle.  Distributes stories of five alternate histories to other Atlanteans.  G156; I319; L20; L60; L69; L147; L154.

Wo Topod  Given Carcosa story, commits suicide.  G165; I572, L20.

Gao Twone  Gruad s associate, given snake story to distribute thoroughout Africa and the Middle East.  I446, G156; I572, L20.

Evoe  Young priest, given Mu story.  I459, G169; I572, L20

Unica  Given Urantia story, to be released  late in the game.   I572, L20.

Kajeci  Gruad s female partner, given Atlantis story with changes making the Atlanteans or Party of Science appear to have been double-dyed bastards.  I448, G158; I572, L20.

Ingel Rild  Scientist and founder of the Party of Freedom: symbol is a golden apple.  I447, G157

Ton Lit  Scientist and associate of Ingel Rild.  I449, G159.

Sylvan Martiset  Founder of the Party of Nothingness.  I450, G160; I618,L59

Lilith Velkor  Chief spokeswoman for Party of Nothingness, crucified by Party of Science.  G163; L43; L162; I726, L174.

Klarkash Ton  Klarkash-Ton was a nickname of H.P. Lovecraft s for Clark Ashton Smith.  High priest.  I483, G193.

Lhuv Kerapht  Derived from H.P. Lovecraft.  High Priest, aged and merry-eyed scientist, possibly leader of Mauls of Lhuv-Kerapht United for the Truth (MaLKUTh, one of the Sephiroth, meaning the kingdom) the Atlantean equivalent of Knights of Christianity United in Faith (KCUF).  I448, G158; I483, G193.

Ma-Lik  I528, G238.

Kull  I531, G241.

Konan/Conan/Kukulan/Quetzalcoatl  I531, G241.

Conn  Conan s son  I532, G242.

 

Illuminati Primi:

Brother Gracchus Gruad

Dr. Fred Filiarisus (Wolfgang Saure?)  I426, G136.

Brother Marcus Marconi

Sister Theda Theodora  Winifred Saure

Brother Otto Ogatai

Brother Henry Hastur  Hastur, a lloigor.

Hagbard Celine  I653, L101; I729, L177.

TAZ: Temporary Autonomous Zone

By Joseph Matheny, Rob Brezsny, Hakim Bey, Nick Herbert and Robert Anton Wilson

cd-taz-l

 A night of ontological anarchy and poetic terrorism captured live at the Komotion International in San Francisco in February 1993. Introduced by Joseph Matheny and featuring Rob Breszny, the elusive Hakim Bey reading from his unpublished manuscripts, Nick Herbert performing his Quantum Tantric poetry, and Robert Anton Wilson rounding out the evening with his RAW witticisms.

 

 

 

TRACKS:

  1. Joseph Matheny 0:18
  2. Rob Brezsny 7:05
  3. Hakim Bey 39:39
  4. Nick Herbert 21:23
  5. Robert Anton Wilson 31:23
  6. Exit 0:30

Available for download  from Archive.org

Out of the Innsmouth Triangle

Out of the Innsmouth Triangle

by Robert Anton Wilson

 from The Realist, No. 120, Summer 1992

From the greatest horrors, irony is never absent. I will forever curse the dark, dreadful and demonic destiny that led me to the unhal­lowed and accursed town of Salem to confront the noisome and foetid Creature invoked by the hideous spells of Das Verichteraraberbuch, yet I thought I was only on a simple assign­ment to cover the founding of a new trade union…

Oh, yes – you may not know Das Verich­teraraberbuch (“The Book of the Mad Arab”). This is Adam Weishaupt’s infamous and un­speakable translation of Olaus Wormius’s loathed and abominatedNecronomicon (“The Book of the Names of the Dead”), the least bowdlerized and most terrible Latin rendition of the vile and venomous Al Azif (roughly, “Songs You Hear Alone in the Desert at Night”) of Abdul Alhazred, “the Mad Arab.”

Recent scholarship indicates that the adjec­tive “mad” traditionally associated with Alhazred is a dubious translation of the term used by his contemporaries, khou-k’ou, which may also mean “intoxicated,” “wildly enthusiastic,” “poetically inspired” or even “stoned out of his gourd.” Be that as it may, the psychotheology of this remarkable bard holds that every time we experience a so-called “dream,” a trans-spatial monster called Cthulhu is actually attempting to take over our minds and make us his slaves.

Why, why, I ask myself-as with shaking hands I pour another glass of laudnum to hold off the surreal and Dantescan fantasies that now haunt my nights-why did I go to that eldritch city, and why on the fearsome Walpurgis Night?

The answer was money – filthy lucre. Paul Krassner had promised to pay me handsomely if I attended the first annual meeting of the I. W. W. (International Witches and Wizards-‘­the world’s first magickal trade union), suc­cessfully infiltrated the nameless Sabaat that would follow, and returned alive and still sane enough to write about what I had experienced.

Indeed, as I drove down the accursed Ayles­bury Pike that followed the evilly twisting path of the ill-reputed Miskatonic River, I was thinking of the $10,000 that Paul, with his usual generosity, had offered me for this assign­ment. The money was a pleasant thought and helped to distract me from unpleasant mulling about the sinister speculations of local ecolo­gists, who remain puzzled and somewhat dis­turbed by the fact that known pollutants, including the toxic and radioactive, do not fully account for the foulness of Mistakatonic water or the awfully mutated creatures that often crawl and slither out of it to attack some lonely farm.

Then I noticed the eldritch bumper-stickers on the Toyota Corolla in front of me: Campus Crusade for Cthulhu; Turn Back to the Necronomicon; Invoke Often!; Have You Hugged Your Shoggoth Today?

As the implications of this swept over me, another car, a virgin vintage Edsel, passed me on the right. I saw from the bumper sticker that this was another of the delegates to the I. W. W.: I brake for ghosties and ghoulies and long-legged beasties and things that gae BUMP in the night. But then I saw absolutely the most sinister bumper sticker I have ever gazed upon, even in the years when I lived in Southern California: Be afraid. Be very afraid.

A reflex shudder involuntarily passed through me. I had never before given much credence to the legends of the “Innsmouth Triangle” – the ill-famed area (bounded by Salem itself, Provi­dence to the south and Dunwich inland) where Cotton Mather once found “more Deviltrie, Daemonalitrie & Abomination than all the reste of Newe England” and where the sullen, inbred and uncouth rustics still insist that Great Cthulhu, and Hastur the Unspeakable, and Iok-Sotot, Eater of Souls, and their min­ions and satraps – e.g., the foul shoggoths and hideous Tcho-Tcho people, alone with Big­foot, the Abominable Snowman and all their. kith and kin-have often broken-through “the Gates of the Silver Key” (somewhere between Dunwich and Innsmouth) to invade our normal space-time from the mad n-dimensional “other world” in which they hold dominion.

“Backwood superstition, ” I thought scorn­fully.

Still, it was, to be frank, unheimlich to be driving behind people who did believe that sort of thing, and to wonder what other enor­mities such twisted minds might harbor. I found myself contemplating the Black Goat With a Thousand Young, and The King in Yellow, and the Hounds of Tindalos, and the Knights of Malta, and. the Centipede Mob, and many such foetid and fearsome things; it was not soothing to have such images running through my head as the sky turned Stygian black and thunder began to roar threateningly in the distance.

I repeated Thurber’s Great Mantra against weirdity: “The mome rath hasn’t been born that can outgrabe me. The mome rath hasn’t been born that can outgrabe me. THE MOME RATH HASN’T BEEN BORN .. .” But I remembered uneasily that de Selby and Comte d’Erlette, among others, claimed that the mome raths were even more formidable (“for­midable”) than the shoggoths.

The journalist Howard Phillips Lovecraft, who has left us the best records of Cthulhoid, UFOnautical and similar abductions in the Innsmouth Triangle, never dared to describe shoggoths explicitly, but he left an impression­istic suggestion that they were physically un­attractive, had loathesome dining habits and could never find gainful employment outside Santa Cruz. (Shoggoths are now a protected species, under the O.A.S. Guacamole and Guano Convention passed in St. Olaf’s in 1978, which also protects the beaked Guatamalan tse-tse fly and the African malaria mosquito.)

The rain was pounding down with the fury of bullets as I turned into the driveway of the Gallows Hilton on 666 College Way in Salem. I noticed another distinctly odd bumper sticker on the Silver Wraith Rolls Royce beside me: Human beings were created by water to carry it uphill. Some form of mystic Wisdom, like a Zen koan, or merely a trite evolutionary observation? “Is not the sea our great sweet mother?” Buck Mulligan had asked. How could I distinguish poetry from pretense on a night like that? I was entering the Twilight Zone, or maybe even Interzone.

Despite the rain, some religious and atheist Fundamentalists were picketing outside the hotel. The Christians had various signs warning against what Rev. Mather had called “Devil­trie, Daemonalitrie and Abominations” and the American Atheist Association and the skeptical factions shared a big banner that said, Repent! You are being irrational!

Passing them all, I fearlessly walked through the entrance door, under the grim inscription, Abandon Hope. The Gallows Hilton, I found, had a tasteful lobby, if you really groove on cobwebs, underground streams, stalactites and lots and lots of crooked candlesticks. The oil paintings were elegantly done and featured such gentry as Brigit Bishop, Bela Lugosi (in his Dracula cape), Abigail Williams, the 23 Holy Martyrs (i.e., the 23 witches hanged on Gallows Hill in 1692), Uncle Aleister (of course) and Frank Morgan as the Wizard of Oz, engraved with the suitable Magick motto: PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN.

A zombie immediately approached me. “May I share something with you? Would you like to learn more about the Church of Scien­tology?” he asked in a flat dead tone. I dodged around him and encountered another of the Undead.

“May I share something with you? The Church of Scientology has the answers you are seeking,” she said in an insectoid but intense whisper.

I escaped her, too, and approached the main desk.

The woman at registration, who bore a dis­tinct resemblance to Anjelica Huston made up as Morticia Addams, told me the Presiden­tial Suite had been reserved after I showed by Realist credentials. She added that all my needs had been provided for-the suite con­tained a Mac Plus word processor with laser printer, a trampoline, two cases of Jameson’s Irish whiskey, garlic and wolfbane over every door and window, three professional circus clowns and five Playboy bunnies. I marveled again how Paul always sees that his writers get the royal red carpet treatment. With the help of carpet cleaning st louis, the carpet was retaining its royalty. But, then, with all the money he got in the 1988 pay-off, when he agreed not to publish the full truth about the Girl Scouts’ role in the JFK assassination, he could afford to be lavish.

I rode up in the elevator with another zom­bie and some Hispanic gent who looked like Raul Julia playing Gomez Addams. Gomez’s luggage consisted largely of wire boxes full of live and squawking chickens. A member of the Santaria delegation, no doubt. The zombie also wanted to share something about Scientology.

The clowns were already busy when I en­tered the Presidential Suite, whacking each other with bladders, squirting seltzer and falling over their Bigfoot shoes. They helped me pry open the first case of Jameson’s and then we uncorked two bottles and three Bunnies, got on the trampoline and I distributed the acid.

It was a great night. Uncle Duke would have loved it.

The next morning, I only encountered two zombies in the hall and one on the elevator, “May I share something with you? Have you heard the truth about Scientology. . .” I wished Hubbard hadn’t learned so much about mind control in his days in Naval Intelligence.

After a tasty omelette in the Hannibal Lecter Café – where they use lots of extra ketchup, of course – I went to the first organizational meeting, the registration of delegates. There was the usual problem about the Satanists. Nobody wanted to be associated with them – “It just multiplies the Christian paranoia against the rest of us” – but, due to Roberts Rules of Order, the I. W. W. had to allow a debate.

The Satanists, again as usual, had an eye on the possible support of the Third World brujas and brujos, and argued that preference for “white” magick over “black” magick indi­cated latent racism. All the Politically Correct witches, wizards, mages and shamans looked guilty but stubborn, and still voted with the majority.

That is, the Satanists got voted down. They left, pausing at the door to howl a few colorful Curses and Maledictions, and went off, I guess, to form their own labor union.  The First Church of Satan, Scientist, trailed out at the end of the parade, following Baphomet’s Witnesses, The Four-Square Tabernacle of Beezlebub, the Born Again Assembly of Lucifer, the Crackofarians, the whole Black Studies Department of Miskatonic University and a bisexual punk group called the Left Handed Manque’ Wrenches.

After that, the registration of delegates grew­ more parliamentary and tedious. I decided to stroll around the lobby and see what I might overhear, as a kind of aural montage of the Occult World Today.

“. . . the sect of Fred Mertz, Bodhisattva. They believe that if you look at enough I Love Lucy re-runs when you’re really wasted, even­tually you’ll hear Fred reveal the most esoteric Zen teachings. . . . ”

“That’s the RDNA – Reformed Druids of North America. We’re the RNADNA­ – Reformed Non-Aristotelian Druids of North America. They teach that Nature is good, but we teach that it seems good to us. . . .”

“The chicken really wants to sacrifice her­self for Papa Legba, mon.”

“No, it’s the Rastas who use Weed. We Javafarians use coffee. . . .”

“You’ll love this one: How many Gardner­ians does it take to change a light-bulb? That’s a Craft Secret. . . .”

“What it is, is you’re really inna shit. Inna deep shit. You don’t have any more fuckin’ brains’n a fuckin’ cockroach, so you need a lawyer, get you outa the shit.” Obviously, a character from a George V. Higgins novel who had wandered into the wrong reality-tunnel.

“Blavatsky thought his name was Koot­Hoomi. She didn’t realize she was being taken over by Cthulhu. . . .”

“I was initiated by Crowley himself, on the fifth astral. . . .”

I went into the Papa Tetragrammaton bar and saw the Outer Head of the Golden Dawn chatting with Don Juan Matus, the Outer Head of the Ordo Templi Ashtarte, the Outer Head of the Argentum Astrum, and some oddly garbed strangers who later turned out to be a rock group called the Heads of Easter Island, who had arrived at the table by mistake.

“So what’s the story?” I asked. “What’s really coming down?”

“Failure of the Will,” Don Juan said. “Gringo magicko. A mutual defense associ­ation for timid mediocrities.”

An Outer Head spoke with falcon eyes piercing me. “The Nicaraguan brujas hold the balance of terror. They have a terrible tax bur­den under the new puppet government. Hell, more people use them than use M.D.s, dig? So naturally their taxes are higher’n Godzilla’s shit-house. They put the whammy woogie on Georgie Boy in Tokyo. You didn’t think flu could knock a guy off his chair like that? The conqueror of 1945 at the feet of the conquerors of 1992. Bruja humor.”

One of the Heads of Easter Island suddenly began speaking in a dead hollow inhuman voice: “One of the things that-we’ll dean this up for this marvelous audience-burns me up-put it that way-is the charge that I don’t care. And I can understand it. Times are tough. This state has gone through hell. It’s gone through an extraordinarily difficult time, coming off a pinnacle, you might say, of low unemployment.” He was obviously channel­ing George Bush.

“The sidewalk was in trouble,” another Head said abruptly in the same dead tone, “and the bears were in trouble and I broke it up.  Please put me in that room.  Please keep him in control.”

“For seven and a half years,” the first Head went on channeling George, “I have worked alongside Ronald Reagan, and I am proud to be his partner. We have had triumphs, we have made mistakes, we have had sex. I mean, we have had upsets. . . .”

“I want to pay. Let them leave me alone. French Canadian bean soup.” More Dutch Shultz.

The first Head went on channeling Bushman: “Remember Lincoln going to his knees in times of trial and the civil war and all that stuff. You can’t be, and we are blessed. So don’t feel sorry for, don’t cry for me, Argentina. ”

I got out of there, before George could go any deeper into what he’d call” the pinnacle of low unemployment thing.” I’m a broad­minded man, I hope, and I don’t mind if peo­ple in my vicinity start channeling Cagliostro or John Dee, but I absolutely will not stand still for any walk-ins who spout George Bush and Dutch Shultz in tandem. It’s weirder than 20 years of Jimmy Swaggart shows.

Another zombie caught me as I left the cafe. “May I share something with you? Have you ever tried the E-meter? Do you want to be Clear? Let me tell you about Scientology. . . .” I escaped again without acting out the impulse to mayhem.

It seemed like a good idea to stroll through the huckster’s room. I examined a collection of Hellmark Cards, with quotes from Aleister Crowley- When You Care Enough To Send The Very Beast, said the merchant’s banner. The usual crystals and talismans. A live chicken yard, for disciples of voudon and santaria who had arrived unprepared for the Sabaat. Bumper stickers of the various sects: God is Red(the Native American shamans), Thou Art God (the neo-pantheist pagans), Thou Art Goddess (the feminist neo-pantheist pagans), Yog Sothoth Neblod Zin (Campus Crusade for Cthulhu again), God is a Crazy Woman and Her Name Is Eris (Paratheoanametamys­tikhood of Eris Esoteric), Next Year in Stone­henge (Chasidic Druids of North America).

Another zombie caught me as I left. “May I share something with you? Scientology has the power . . .”

I quickened my step and strolled over to the Inverse Pentagram Bar. Since the sun wasn’t over the yardham yet, I ordered a Virgin Mary. On second thought, I told them to put in a little vodka, but not more than a double shot. (“Moderation in all things,” as Rasputin once told Gurdjieff.) Then I looked around for familiar faces-people who might tell me some of the inside story of what was going on here.

The Inner Head of the Ordo Templi Orientis recognized me and raised his glass, inviting me to his table. This was, as Vito Corleone would say, an offer I could not refuse. Very few people even get to know the name of the Outer Head of the O.T.O.; to have a drink with the Inner Head was a rare privilege indeed.

“So what’s the real story here?” I asked, after we had exchanged the illuminati hand­ shake, the Mason Word, the Rose Cross for­mulae, the secret address of Cthulhu and a few other formalities of that sort.

“It rains,” he said. “Lie down on the floor and keep calm.”

I thanked him, very warmly and sincerely, and immediately went to my room, to begin packing. It is seldom that Mages of the O. T. O. speak with so few levels of metathesis or allegory. The warning had been almost explicit. The clowns and bunnies bade me a sad farewell and I began creeping, with my two traveling bags, down the dark, echoing back staircase, which had an unpleasant num­ber of bats flying about in its labyrinth. I crossed the Pink Dimension and encountered bumping and whistling things in the Realm of Thud. Shemp Howard and W. C. Fields waved from the Black Pussy Cafe. Re-entering the lobby I checked in with a registration clerk who looked like Kathleen Turner in a Hitler Youth sweater. She gave me ten Scientology pamphlets.

There were no clowns or bunnies in my tiny room behind the elevator shaft. I opened the closet and passed through a hundred wounded galaxies to the Delegates Meeting where the Satanists were standing at the door, trapped in the time-warp, still hurling Curses and Male­dictions before leaving. “May your cows abort, your income tax get audited every year and your crops fail!” “May you drink of dog vomit, eat chimpanzee turds and be forced to memorize Gilligan’s Island scripts!” “May you be condemned to a career of writing for Gnosis and Weekly World News!” “May your daughters join the Radical Lesbians and your sons die in foreign wars to enrich the oil barons!”

Time moved in a quantum lurch. I passed through an aeon of dead time and opened the closet door to find the lobby again. Madonna was at registration and said I had the Triple Moon Goddess Suite. The 3 Stooges dressed as bellhops helped me carry the 23 bags of luggage I had mysteriously acquired. They knocked over every vase and broke every chair we passed, of course, and every time they broke something Moe would stick his finger in Curly’s eye. Don Juan and Don Genaro, for some reason, kept looking over the top of the page and laughing hilariously. I wondered if some wise ass from the Amazon had spiked my Demi-Virgin Mary with ayahuasca.

We were toiling up the hill to the historic gallows of 1692. The Campus Crusade were reciting foul incantations from Alhazred. A bug-eyed octopus led us in singing “Mr. Wong has the Biggest Tong in Chinatown.” Veronica Lake was threatening Frederick March with a whip. “I’ll send my car to pick a you up,” said Chico Marx. Whitley Strieber and some midgets (or were they children? I couldn’t be sure in the half-light of the gibbous moon) were inviting everybody to a party in a big round white brightly-lit edifice that looked like a modernistic hamburger joint, sort of. I passed that by and went on to the Toad Elevat­ing Moment, at which the Tantric Libertarians put a 7-year genital warts curse on everybody who worked for the I.R.S.

We all came down the stairs into the Grand Ballroom. The organizational charter had been finished. Every local of the I. W. W: would be responsible for its own finances and pension fund. If the Teamsters or Mafia tried to horn in, the toad curse would be put on them, too. An international legal team, sup­ported by all locals, would begin a series of libel suits against the worst anti-witch or anti-magick fanatics among “the Christians and Atheists who control the Organization of American States.” Everybody seemed happy and well satisfied, but I was not quite sure I remembered all that had happened, or that most of what I remembered had really hap­pened at all, at all.

It was two nights later that the damnable nightmares began. Cthulhu trying to take control of my mind? Over-work and nervous tension? I know not; I know only that I cannot forget those images of things only a Dore could paint, things that could not and should not and must not be true. . . those wild fan­tasies (they must be fantasies) of dark unin­vited delegates on Gallows Hill that night. . . the loathesome shoggoths and abominable Tcho-Tchos, the mad faceless Nyarlathotep, the unspeakable Alien Intelligence normally masked as J. Danforth Quayle. . . the Wascal Wabbit . . . Ia! Shub Niggurath!

May I share something with you? Scientol­ogy may be the answer to your problems. . .

Cthulhu fthagn!

Off the Beaten Path

Robert Anton Wilson interview April 1992

Ken Thomas:  You are listening to “Off the Beaten Path”, 30 minutes of flashbacks and fallout from the Beat Generation. My name is Ken Thomas, and I’m here with Phil Gunis and tonight, our guest is Robert Anton Wilson, author of theIlluminatus! trilogy, editor/publisher of Trajectories newsletter, whose list of credentials goes down my arm and are much longer than I can name.  Thank you for being on the program tonight, Bob.

Robert Anton Wilson:  Oh, it’s very nice to be with you.

KT:  So, the purpose here is to talk about you new book.  Is it going to be published by New Falcon?

RAW: No, the new book is published by Dell Books, who’ve handled most of my fiction for the last ten years or so.

KT:  So this new work is fiction.

RAW:  Yes.

KT:  And it’s called?

RAW:  Reality is What You Can Get Away With.

KT:  Is this the latest volume in the current Historical Illuminatus series?

RAW:  No, this is outside that series.  The Historical Illuminatus series is being published by Penguin Books.

KT:  I see.

RAW:  I’ve got four publishers.  It’s complicated, but that’s the way it works out sometimes.

Phil Gunis:  So it is a new work – a novel that we can expect plots, sublots, and so forth with?

RAW:  Well, it’s a novel in the form of a screenplay which has got as much structure as a Monty Python routine, at least.

KT:  I’m always taken aback at how prolific you are.  I think I just recieved a copy of Cosmic Trigger II, and for some reason I always think of you in terms of Thomas Pynchon, who writes kind of similar things, but he does one every twenty years, and doesn’t talk to anybody.

RAW:  Yeah, somehow he makes a living from it.  I don’t know how. I’ve got to keep writing as fast as I can, or I’ll go broke.

KT:  Are you still on the lecture circuit?

RAW:  Yes, very much so.

PG:  And what are your audiences like these days?  Are you getting any kind of feedback Post-Reagan that you weren’t getting, say, in the late Seventies?

RAW:  I still get largely young audiences.  Well, there’s always a scattering of people of all ages, right up to my own age, which is sixty.  But still, I attract mostly people around twenty, some under twenty.

KT:  That’s interesting.  The world has really changed so much since I started reading your books in, I guess, the mid- to late seventies. How do you see your early work, in terms of your present-day environment?  Has a lot of what you predicted come true?  Do you expect the same kind of things in the future?

RAW:  Well, the major thing I predicted was that there wouldn’t be a nuclear war, and that humanity would survive.  I feel very – I feel vindicated by recent events on that issue, anyway.  I write non-fiction, as well as fiction, and it’s curious that in my fiction, some of the weird things in my fiction have turned out to be true, and I wasn’t even trying to be a prophet.  In Schrondinger’s Cat, a science fiction trilogy I did in 1979, I have America being overrun by armies of homeless people, and that was supposed to be crazy satire of the worst that could happen.  And now it’s really happened.  Sometimes I feel a little bit guilty, like I caused it.

PG:  Is that creating reality, or is that some unconscious, indirect channeling or something of something coming through there?

RAW:  I don’t like to think I created that reality, maybe I have some gift for free cognition, maybe it’s just a coincidence. I’m sure the Committee for Scientific Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal would know it’s a coincidence.  I don’t have that kind of intuitive certainty, so I sometimes wonder if it might be precognition.

KT:  So if we were to look for some kind of futuristic vision of the world here that’s going to be accurate, then we want to read your new novel moreso than Cosmic Trigger II, is that what you’re telling us?

RAW:  Yes, Reality Is What You Can Get Away With, a new book from Dell, is in the form of a screenplay, which has a sequence of dreams and supernatural events in which the television seems to come alive and take over the house, and it comes from the same level of the unconscious as my other novels, so it probably has just as much insanity and just as much prophecy as my other novels.

PG:  Have you ever had any of your other works made into films?

RAW:  No, that’s one of the major disappointments of my life – a dozen times I’ve had books optioned, but none of them ever went all the way through to production and release – yet.  But, on the other hand, instead of mourning over that, I prefer to contemplate the fact that all my books are still in print – that’s a remarkable record for a writer.

KT:  I’ve always thought that a lot of them would be very difficult to make into a movie – at least I did think that until I saw The Naked Lunch.  Did you see that film?

RAW:  Yes, I liked it a lot.  Well, what astounded me was that Kent Campbell in England managed to turn Illuminatus! into a stage play. It ran twelve hours – there were mystery plays of the middle ages that ran that long.  He really did it, he turned it into a play, and it was done at the Science Ficiton Theatre in Liverpool, the National Theatre of Great Britain, Cambridge University, and on the Continent in Amsterdam, and Frankfurt.

KT:  And you like the way it turned out?

RAW:  Oh, yes, I liked it very much.  I didn’t think it was possible – I don’t see how you could make that into a movie, but you could make it into a TV miniseries.

KT:  A miniseries – that’s what I was thinking…

RAW:  If there are any producers listening, I hope their ears perk up at that.

KT:  I think it’d make a perfect miniseries, actually.  You don’t have any fears that if a TV producer ever tried to do one of your works, that they would turn it into something like The Naked Lunch, which really wasn’t The Naked Lunch, as much as it was biographocal material of Burrough’s and Exterminator, and a few other books.

RAW:  Well, I’m not afraid.  I know what happens when you get involved with mass media.  It would be a fight, but it would be fun, too.

PG:  So does the new work in any way parallel Videodrome, to talk about another Cronenberg film – talking about the influence of the TV, and so forth?

RAW:  I don’t think it has much in common with Videodrome.  It has more in common with the Monty Python gang taking over Cosmos one night.  Not CosmosNova, I mean.  Nova is the continuing science series, Cosmos was the short one with Carl Sagan.

KT:  Nova was the one that did the thing on the Magic Bullet theory, with all the computer graphics that proved that the Magic Bullet therory could work, right?

RAW:  Did they?

KT:  Yeah, Walter Kronkite…

RAW:  That must have been while I was living in Ireland.  I lived in Ireland for about six years in the 1980s.

PG:  I think that took place on the 25th anniversary, there were some specials, and Nova ran one with Kronkite.

RAW:  Did they actually show the bullet turning around eight times in midair.  Must have been wonderful!  Well, that’s Wilson’s Law of the superiority of politics to science, which holds that if A equals B, and B equals C, then A equals C, except where forbidden by law.

KT:  I want to get back to your experiences in Ireland, and why you left, but as long as we’ve gone near the Kennedy assasination, we’ve talked to a number of people recently, like Mark Wayne and Dick Gregory about JFK’s assasination, and Ram Das and I’d like to – first off, I’d like to know if you’ve seen the JFK, Oliver Stone movie, and get your response to that, and also I’d just like to pluck your brain specifically about where you were on November 22?

RAW:  Well, I not only saw JFK, I saw the first show on the first day it opened here where I live, in Santa Cruz.  I was very curious, I couldn’t wait, and I had to get out and see it right away, before I could read any reviews, so I could make sure I was making up my own mind.  And I think it’s the greatest movie since Citizen Kane, fifty years ago.  It’s innovative in its film techniques like Citizen Kane, and politically it’s hot as burning coals, just like Citizen Kane, and I liked it a great deal.

PG:  Had you read any of the pre-publicity things in Esquire magazine?

RAW:  Well, somewhere I picked up that Garrison was the hero, which I felt was kind of goofy, but I can see, dramatically, why Stone picked Garrison.  The more responsible conspiracy researchers don’t make interesting stories, they sit and do research, and write books – that’s not cinematic.  Garrison took a man into court and had a trial – that is cinematic.  So naturally, Garrison was the cinematic hero.

KT:  So,you don’t have a very high regard for Garrison’s research?

RAW:  No, not at all.

PG:  And why, specifically, was that?  He wasn’t even near where he should have been with the evidence, or the way that he pursued it?  Is that your feeling?

RAW:  My feeling was that a lot of his evidence was very slapdash, and he didn’t impress me very much.  His evidence didn’t impress me.

KT:  Still, what do you think about Stone’s basic premise – that JFK was killed because he was going to get us out of Vietnam?

RAW:  Well, it’s possible, but I don’t believe it.

PG:  Why do you think it did happen, then?

RAW:  There are a dozen alternative theories that are just as plausible.  I think the Mafia had a lot of reasons for wanting to get rid of Kennedy, especially their concept of honor.  He took a lot of help from them to win Illinois, and then he double-crossed them and started throwing them in jail.  That’s the kind of thing they regard as dishonorable and worthy of punishment.  And there’s a lot of evidence pointing in that general direction, of the Mafia, but then again there’s evidence pointing in the direction of the CIA, but I’m not at all sure you can distinguish the Mafia and the CIA any more. The two are so intertwined that it’s like one entity rather than two.

PG:  Well, that’s exactly what Phil Abage has said, so they’re on the same wavelength, then.  Yeah, but the CIA would have been the one organization that could have perpetuated a coverup for twenty-eight years.  The Mafia could not have done that, do you think?

RAW:  Yes, the Mafia couldn’t have made the alterations in the body between the Parkwin Hospital and the Vetsa Hospital – that had to have come from within the government.

KT:  So you buy David Lipton’s theories?

RAW:  Yes, yes.

KT:  Hmmm.  One of our guests was Kerry Thornley, who is a friend of yours.  Remember Kerry?

RAW:  Oh, how could I forget him?  At one point he was convinced that I was his CIA babysitter.

KT:  Oh, really, he was?

RAW:  He suspected all of his friends at one point or another.

KT:  Well, you know that is interesting – this whole charge of you being connected to the CIA, and Tim Leary being connected to the CIA. It comes up time and again.  What do you think causes that?

PG:  Just random paranoia?

RAW:  Well, there are some people on the left who have no concept of what evidence is, or what proof is, very little sense of intellectual honesty, and if they don’t like you, they just call you a CIA agent. In Nazi Germany, they would have called you a Jew.

PG:  How did you meet Kerry Thornley, and what exactly was your relationship with him in the last few years?  I found him a fascinating person when we talked to him for our interview.

RAW:  I met Kerry though a magazine we both wrote for, called The Libertarian Connection, back in the Sixties.

PG:  And at that time, did he feel that he was a part of a Nazi breeding experiment?

RAW:  Oh, no.  That all happened after Garrison accused him of perjury.  And then Kerry started trying to figure out what had really happened, and then he decided he had been brainwashed by Naval Intelligence while he was in the Marines, and then, retroactively he worked it backwards to the womb, and he’ll eventually find causes going back to the Garden of Eden, I’m sure.

PG:  How did you relate to the different revelations when Kerry would tell you about these things?

RAW:  I did not hide my skepticism sufficiently, so he decided that I was one of the conspirators.  That’s the trouble dealing with people who are in that mental state.  If you don’t believe everything they say, then they immediately promote you to a starring role in the Conspiracy against them.

KT:  Yeah, I noticed that this is something that’s happened between the two successors to Mae Brussels.

RAW:  Oh yeah, each of them is accusing the other of being a government agent.  This happens all the time.  The best portrait of it is in The Life of Brian, the Monty Python movie, with all the Palistine Liberation Organizations more engaged in fighting each other than they are in trying to drive out the Romans.

KT:  Well yeah, that’s what happens.  We interviewed Mark Lane, and Lane was involving E. Howard Hunt and Frank Sturgess in the Kennedy assassination.  He actually went through a trial that kept Hunt from being able to sue for libel if you say in print that he was one of the people involved in the assassination.  And it seemed pretty straightforward – Mark Lane kind of exposing the CIA.  It wasn’t until after we had aired those programs that we had discovered that in fact people had suspicions about Lane being in the CIA, and we were being used by the CIA to put forth his disinformation story.

RAW:  Well, this goes back to the Sixties.  In the Sixties I was very involved in the peace movement, and more and more people in the peace movement started telling me and telling one another that we were infiltrated by government agents. And after a while, I decided it was true, and we just had to learn to live with it.  There wasn’t much we could do about it. No sense in getting hysterical about it.  But it turned out that we were – that was the “call and tell” program.  Then when the war ended, I got involved in the Timothy Leary defense fund, which was raising money to fight Leary’s case and get him out of prison.  Everybody in the Leary defense fund eventually suspected everybody else of working for the Drug Enforcement Administration, and we were all suspected of being government agents, we all suspected one another.  People would come around and tell me, “John is a government agent,” and the next day John would come around and tell me Jim was a government agent.  I’ve been living in that kind of environment since the late sixties.  I just got used to it.

KT:  Bob, let me generalize this question about the CIA again.  I don’t want to harp on it, but it seems to me that a lot of people are saying that the philosophy that you’ve written on and about, and the philosophy that Tim Leary espouses is all part of a directed campaign to depoliticize youth culture in America.

PG:  Was that part of the plan, when LSD was introduced into the culture, do you think, Bob?

RAW:  Well, I’m very politically involved, so I don’t see how that can depoliticize anybody else.

PG:  I think what Ken may be making reference to is the idea, at least back in the sixties and early seventies, of the image of the “hippy-dippy” stoned-out people just laying out in the grass as opposed to the image of someone who’s as militant as the Black Panthers or the Weathermen, and the difference that psychedelics played with those two groups.

RAW:  Well, we survived, and they didn’t.  I’m not going to deny being a CIA agent.  Hell, the more you deny it, the more people think that there must be some truth in it, like the story about LBJ spreading the rumor that, when he was running for congress, that his opponent was a swinophiliac.  You see, you can say it on radio if you say it in Latin.  That’s somebody who has an inordinate sexual attraction to pigs, hogs, and other distinguished varieties of swine.  And we asked LBJ, “What do you expect to accomplish by all this?”  And LBJ says, “At least I’ll make him deny it!”  I’m not going to deny every idiot charge that’s laid against me, because that makes it sound like they were taken seriously, and there might be some truth in them.

KT:  Okay, good point.  We’ll just leave that topic, then, and talk a little bit about the old motto that we ascribe to you – Space Migration, Life Extension, and the Intensification of Intelligence. Are these still three things that concern you, and how do you feel they’ve been developing?

RAW:  Well, yeah, I ‘m still very interested in all three of them, and I’m glad more and more people have spent more and more time in space colonies, and more and more people are drinking smart drinks than booze, and that life extension research is moving along very rapidly. I think a lot of other things have to happen first before we’re ready for space migration.  I’m more interested in Bucky Fuller’s plan to integrate all of the electrical grids in the world into one grid, which will make electricity cheaper for everybody, and show the governments and corporations of the world that they’ve got more to gain by cooperating than they have by conspiring against one another.

PG:  How do you turn that consciousness around, as far as corporate America goes, do you think?

RAW:  Well, I agree with Fuller – when you show them something that works, and they see how they can make a profit out of it, you turn them around.

KT:  Do you have any interest in the Biosphere project?

RAW:  Yeah, I’m very interested in that.  I’m interested in the sense that I’d like to know more about it, rather than in investing in it.

KT:  Well, we weren’t trying to solicit for it.  You don’t think then, that it’s what a lot of people have said – that it’s just a dead end?

RAW:  No, we’re going to learn a lot from that experiment, I’m sure. We’ll learn even more when we build a complete ecosphere in outer space, but meanwhile, it’s a very good idea to build one on the Earth.

KT:  Well, let’s talk a little bit about what’s going on in space. Are you disappointed, say, in the breakup of the Soviet Union, and of the consequence that it had on their space program, and out own program sort of limping along the way it does?

RAW:  No, I think the breakup of the Soviet Union was absolutely wonderful.  It put the CIA and that whole segment of our government in a hell of a jam.  How can you have an arms race when you’re only racing against yourself?  They’ve got to find some substitute for the arms race now and they’re desperately looking for something that won’t involve improving the living conditions of most of us, because if we are allowed to develop the way technology could allow us to develop, then we’d all be billionaires, and they wouldn’t feel superior to us anymore.  It’s the sentient primate drive to get higher on the tree than anybody else that governs all ruling classes.  I also think the Soviet change began in 1989, with the collapse of the Berlin Wall, and it’s just when Bucky Fuller predicted it would happen in his book Critical Path, published in 1981.

KT:  Really?  He predicted it to the year?

RAW:  Ah, he didn’t say that the Berlin Wall would come down, he said that by 1989, the world would either begin breaking apart and coming together in a new system, or we’d have a nuclear war, one or the other.  We did not have a nuclear war – the world started breaking apart and forming into a new system.  And Fuller hit it right on the head.  He picked the year exactly.

KT:  So, you don’t feel then that the space programs of the world are stunted, or not what they should be?

RAW:  No, once the dunderheads in Washington begin to realize that there is no more Cold War, once they really understand it fully, I think that if we keep the economy going, they’ll have to invest in space, which is the place where you can get the biggest return on new investment now, and there’s more out there than there is on the surface of the planet, because there’s more out there!

KT:  Have you heard anyting about this photograph from the Soviet Mars probe to the Martian moon of Phobos?

RAW:  No.

KT:  This is something that Don Ecker has been publishing in the latest issue of UFO magazine.  Apparently, before they lost contact with the probe that they sent to Mars, it took a photograph of a fifteen and a half mile long UFO, and Ecker has published this last photograph from the probe.  This is supposedly a topic of conversation between Bush and Gorbachev during their last summit, and supposedly one of the reasons behind SDI research and the whole urge to do a joint Soviet-US Mars mission.  That’s not a conspiracy you’re privy to, I take it?

RAW:  No, this is the first I’ve heard about it, but it’s fascinating. Fifteen and a half miles long?

KT:  Yeah, sure, I’ll send you a copy of the photo.

RAW:  I’d love to see it.

KT:  Do you keep up with conspiracies?  I mean, you’re famous for being a writer of a novel of the greatest conspiracy of history out there.  Are you privy to the details of Danny Cassilaro or Robert Maxwell, or any of that?

RAW:  I don’t recognize either of those names.  I just finished reading Jonathan Manken’s Conspiracies, Coverups, and Crimes, and I’m just starting one called The Illuminati, by Larry Verkit, which is a christian fundamentalist version of … are you there?

KT:  Yes.

RAW:  My phone just tilted.

KT:  Somebody beeped the word “christian”.  🙂  So you’ve read Manken’s book.  What did you think of that?

RAW:  I liked it.  I thought it did a very good job of covering a lot of different theories rather impartially.

PG:  Do you think he dealt pretty fairly with Kerry Thornley, and represented him the way he should have been represented?

RAW:  Yes, I think so.  He could have made Thornley sound like a raving nut, and he didn’t.

PG:  We did an interview with Manken.  I found his book to be fascinating also.  What was your take, for instance, on his mention of Mark Lane as popping up in suspicious places, and surviving Jonestown, when a few others didn’t.  Did you raise an eyebrow at that?

RAW:  Well, I had thought of that myself, but I don’t believe it. It’s just a thought that’s crossed my mind.  You can think of certain things, and then you realize that you can’t prove them or disprove them, and you just leave them in the “I don’t know” file.

KT:  Yeah, we’ve got a pretty thick “I don’t know” file.  Let me get back to your stay in Ireland, and your recent return to California. It all came to mind again for me, recently, when Ireland went through this whole thing recently about the girl and the abortion, that they weren’t going to allow her to leave the country to have an abortion. Can I get your impressions of Ireland, and what kind of a culture does that to little girls?

RAW:  Well, in the first place, that was obviously a put-up job.  I don’t deny that the girl was pregnant, but women leave Ireland every day, and have abortions in England.  It’s a well known fact.  Every side in the abortion debate in Ireland admits it.  The estimates of how many go to England every year vary from three thousand to six thousand.  Four thousand seems to be the most popular figure.  Nobody knows.  There’s no way they can control it.  Ireland may be Catholic, but it’s got a lot of common sense, and it’s not totalitarian.  So the idea of giving women pregnancy tests before they get on a ferry to Liverpool just won’t float.  So nobody knows how many women going to England are pregnant when they leave and not pregnant when they get back.  And somebody for some reason decided that this girl should become a test case, and announced that was why they were going to England, so the government tried to stop it, and the Supreme Court realized that it would make everyone look totally idiotic to the rest of Europe.  There’s also the economic factor there.  If the case goes to the European Supreme Court, Ireland has to obey, or drop out of the EEC.  And if they drop out of the EEC, that will cost them millions of dollars every year.  So they’d rather not go to the European Supreme Court.

KT:  Why did you leave Ireland?

RAW:  Well, chiefly, my wife and I missed our children and our friends back here, and the climate.  As much as I may like Ireland, the climate gets you down after a while if you’re used to California weather.

PG:  Is the spirit of James Joyce still evident over there?  Were you aware of that?

RAW:  Yes, Ireland is the most literary country in the world.  You’ll find fewer Irish scientists than any other nation, but you’ll find more great Irish writers than any other nation.  The Irish have the largest vocabulary of any group in the English-speaking world.  It’s always been an oral culture.  Not in the Linda Lovelace sense, but in the sense of being in love with speech.

PG:  Is Van Morrison a popular musician there, in his own land?  Are you familiar with his work?

RAW:  Yeah, yeah, he’s popular, and U2 was very popular in the neighborhood where I lived before the rest of the world discovered them.  They were very popular in Host(?), which is where I lived, which is on a little known hill north of Dublin.

KT:  So you were there for six years?

RAW:  Yeah, I decided when Ronald Reagan was elected, that I was getting the hell out of this country.  But after a while, like I said, you start missing your family and friends, and even with Ronald Reagan here, you’ll come home.

KT:  Was California a lot different when you returned?

RAW:  No, it was pretty much the same.  Fewer cigarette smokers.

PG:  Were you living in California when Reagan was governor?

RAW:  Yes.

PG:  Was that post-Playboy days, or were you not connected with Playboy magazine then, when Reagan was in the governor’s mansion?

RAW:  Come to think of it, I wasn’t living here when he was governor. Jerry Brown was in by the time I got here.

KT:  You were living in Chicago then?  Could you talk a little bit about what your association with the Playboy empire was like, and the general politics?  It’s kind of a fascinating publishing empire, isn’t it?

RAW:  Well, it’s not that different from any other.  I worked for twenty years approximately for various magazines, and Playboy is not that different from any other magazine job.  You come in to the office, you work at your – in those days, we used typewriters – we didn’t have computers yet.  The glamor is all in the magazine, it’s not in the work being done in the office.

PG:  But they were showcasing writers like James Baldwin and Norman Mailer, and even Kerouac at the time?

RAW:  Yeah, they printed every major writer.  One critic said that they printed the second-rate work of every major writer.  There’s a sudden silence.  Somebody ask something.

KT:  A pregnant pause.

PG:  We could talk about the number twenty-three…

KT:  This is going to be one of those, “we’re not really on the air right now”, so we’re going to have a little break here.  Yeah, this is going to be aired on April 23rd.

RAW:  When did we go off the air?

KT:  Just now…

KT:  Bob, do you remember your time in St. Louis from a few years back?

RAW:  Yeah, I was living in Ireland, and I was on a lecture tour in the States, and I went through about twenty cities in about twenty days, and it was all very much like an acid trip.  All I remember is that giant McDonald’s arch as I went into the city.  I never understood why they put that there – was that where McDonald’s was founded, or what?

KT:  It was actually used as a giant tuning fork in a Captain Marvel comic book one time.

RAW:  Is that was it was for?

KT:  Well, I remember I was escorting you around when you came through St. Louis, and you were talking about the old twenty-three synchronicity.  And I said something about the numerological significance of the radio station we were going to, which was in something called the Sevens Building, and you pointed across the street at a skyscraper and on top was a huge twenty-three – it’s street address was twenty-three.

RAW:  Yeah, somebody took me out for a pizza after my lecture, and be got number twenty-three.  He asked me, “my God, how do you do it?”

PG:  Yeah, Ken really introduced me to that concept.  What’s happening with that twenty-three?  Is that necessarily a benevolent number, or a malevolent number, or just a significant number?

RAW:  Well, you have your choice.  You can decide for yourself.  I haven’t figured it out yet.  Most of the time I’m quite convinced that it’s just a neurological set.  You start looking for twenty-threes, and you just notice them more than any other number.  And then it pops up in such weird contexts that I’m not at all sure that’s the explanation.  I like it.  I like data that I can’t explain because it keeps me thinking.  If I could explain everything, I’d stop thinking. And then I’d either end up in the Vatican or in the Committee for the Scientific Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal.

PG:  So you keep a big “I don’t know” file as Ken and I also do?

RAW:  Oh yes, I have one of the most enormous “I don’t know” files in the Western world.  Hey, how’s that for bragging?  Mine is bigger than yours!

KT:  Let’s take out our “I don’t know” files and weigh them, then we’ll see who’s a real man.  Do you have a new volume of the Historical Illuminatus trilogy coming out?  I know there’s a fourth one planned.

RAW:  Yeah, the fourth one is called The World Turned Upside Down, and when that’ll come out I’m not exactly sure.  The next one coming out is the one from Dell, Reality is What You Can Get Away With, which is due out at the end of April.  By the way, you mentioned my newsletter, Trajectories?  If anybody’s interested in that, it can be ordered from P.O. Box 700305, San Jose, 95170, California.

KT:  And this is the Permanent Press, right?

RAW:  That’s right, Permanent Press – P.O. Box 700305, San Jose, 95170.

KT:  And that is the adress of Robert Anton Wilson’s newsletter, Trajectories.  How often does that come out, Bob?

RAW:  As often as we can manage it.  It’s supposed to come out four times a year.  But it doesn’t matter – if you subscribe, you’ll get four issues, whether it takes us a year, or a year and a half – you’ll still get your four issues.

KT:  How do you know when it’s time to go to press?

RAW:  Whenever I can fit it into my otherwise busy schedule.

KT:  I guess the intent of that question was, you’re sort of like a sensor out there – a finger on the pulse of everything that people that are interested in your writing want to read about.  So how do you know when you’ve got enough, or how do you know you’re reporting the right stuff, or what?

RAW:  Oh, I never know.  If you try to make sure you’re right, you’ll never put anything on paper.  Somebody asked T.S. Elliot about who was the most important poet in the twentieth century, you or Pound or Yeats, and Elliot said, “it doesn’t profit to think about such questions.”  And it absolutely doesn’t.  I mean, trying to decide whether your work is good enough to publish, well, that’s up to the publishers to decide.  If you believe the good things that people say about you, you become a megalomaniac.  If you believe the bad things they say, you become a depressive and stop writing.  So you’ve got to ignore all of it – the praise and the denunciation – and just do the work.

PG:  I think that Henry Miller knew a couple of characters like that in Paris, didn’t he, Bob?  Boris, who was always going to write a novel, but never did?  Do you remember that character?

RAW:  Oh, he’s in Tropic of Capricorn.  That’s funny you should mention Henry Miller.  I just drove by the Henry Miller Memorial library a couple of days ago.

PG:  Tell us about that…

RAW:  There’s nothing to tell.  I just drove by it – it was on my way to Epsiland(?).

KT:  Were there people sitting around remembering Henry Miller?

PG:  Did you go into the library?  What did they have in there?

RAW:  No, I was just on my way to E..(?), I just drove by.  There was a lot of trees – I couldn’t even see the library.  In that part of California the trees are so thick, you don’t know what’s behind them. I often suspect characters out of places like Lovecrafts Dunwich and Innsmouth are hidden behind those trees.

KT:  While we’re on the topic of historical figures, let’s talk about Wilhelm Reich a bit.  I know you wrote a play, Reich in Hell, and I know he’s had an influence on you, or at least he’s somebody who’s ideas you haven’t too fearful – like the rest of the writers of the twentieth century – to talk about.  How did you get introduced to Reich’s work?

RAW:  When they burned his books.

KT:  Really, right when it was happening?

RAW:  Yeah, I was quite young then, and I’d never heard his name, until it was in the newspapers that they were burning his books.  That got me kind of irritable.  I don’t approve of burning books.  I was quite shocked that it was happening, and that all the liberals in New York were just ignoring it, who said, “he’s a nut, so it doesn’t matter.”  I thought the purpose of the First Amendment was to protect the nuts.  Besides, who knows who’s a nut?  It takes a hundred years to decide sometimes.  So I didn’t approve at all what happened to Reich, and I started making inquiries, and I got to read three or four of his books while they were all still banned.  People wouldn’t let me borrow them – I had to sit in their apartments and read the books.  I felt like I was living in the days of the Inquisition.

KT:  Because it was underground stuff, really.

RAW:  Well, there were these books, and people would let you look at them in their house, but they wouldn’t let you take them out of their house.  In the Sixties, I was working for Playboy, and I was interviewing all sorts or psychiatrists, psychologists, sexologists, behavioral scientists, and a hell of a lot of them would say, “I agree with Tim Leary,” and then the government threw Tim Leary in jail, and then everybody shut up and nobody agreed with him any more.  And I got the feeling, hey, the Inquisition never did end, did it?  I finally wrote a book called The New Inquisition, in which I expressed my suspicions on that point.

KT:  So you kind of got into Leary the same way you got into Reich, you heard about his incarceration, or no?

RAW:  No, I got interested in Leary before he was incarcerated.

KT:  So you’re not only interested in the criminal element?

RAW:  Oh, no…the thing about Leary being a CIA agent…

KT:  Well, that would make him a policeman.

RAW:  …the last time we got together, no, not the last time, but a recent time, at NYU there was a group of anonymous and therefore courageous left-wingers handing out a leaflet saying that Leary and I were both CIA agents, and Leary didn’t get a copy of it, so I showed him one, and Leary said, “Jeez, I wish I could find a way to make those bastards pay me all the back pay they owe me!”  I feel the same way every time I’m accused of being a CIA agent.

PG:  Did you get aquainted with Tim Leary pre-Millbrook days, or post-Millbrook days?

RAW:  Well, I read Interpersonal Diagnosis of Personality pre-Millbrook, and I met Leary at Millbrook.

PG:  And what are some of your memories of that whole scene at Millbrook at that time?

RAW:  Well, I’m sorry to sound like an advocate, but my impression was that Leary was one of the most brilliant people that I’ve ever met. Very much like my impression when I first met Buckminster Fuller, and William Burroughs.  The three people who gave me the sensation that I am in the presence of higher intelligence.

PG:  And would you elaborate a little bit on why you put William Burroughs in that company?  What do you see in Burrough’s writing, or his particular brand of intelligence that you put him in that company?

RAW:  Well, it’s the choice of words.  I first read Seventeen Episodes From Naked Lunch in a magazine called Big Table, and I felt no writer since James Joyce was able to put words together so efficiently and effectively to create the exact images and emotional overtones that he wanted.  And I began to notice that not only was he a great prose poet, but he had a lot of interesting ideas, too.

KT:  Have you also had some familiarity with Alfred Korzybski at that point?

RAW:  Yes.  That’s one thing that Burroughs, Leary, Bucky Fuller and I all have in common – we all have familiarity with Alfred Korzybski and General Semantics.

KT:  Could you give us a couple sentences that explain Korzybski for our listeners?

RAW: Oh, that’s a hard one.

KT:  I know.  And then the history of the world after that, in ten minutes.

RAW:  Korzybski was an engineer and mathematician who, in World War I was so horrified with what the human race was doing to itself – he didn’t even have to wait for WWII, he saw it in WWI – he decided to apply scientific method to understanding human behavior, and tried to develop a system which would teach people to be less in insane.  This system he called Human Engineering, and then he discovered someone else was using that word, so he changed the name a couple of times, and he finally ended up calling it General Semantics.  Semantics because it deals with evaluations, and General because it’s not just limited to the study of words, it deals with how words affect the nervous system.  He coined the word “neurolinguistics”, which is very popular nowadays.  His main emphasis was on how words hypnotise us, and how we can learn to wake from the hypnosis that’s created by words.  Well, that’s it – that theme in Burroughs, “rub out the word”, “the word is virus”, all that comes from Korzybski.

PG:  And you don’t think in any way that perhaps Burroughs has centered more on the aspects of control with language rather than liberation?

RAW:  Oh, yes, Burroughs has stressed the dangers of language, even more than Korzybski and he hasn’t said as much as Korzybski did on how we can use language to liberate ourselves from the control of language.  There is a difference there, definitely.

KT:  Do you maintain contacts with men like Burroughs and Leary – well, I know you talk to Leary all the time, it seems like – but what about Burroughs and Ginsberg and those kind of writers?

RAW:  I’ve met Burroughs a few times.  I wish I had met him more often.

KT:  I’d like to get back to your relationship with Tim Leary.  You actually got into pre-LSD Leary. It sounds like you read the Interpersonal Diagnosis of Personality, which is all of his scientific work, trying to understand personality, and got off on that.

RAW:  Yes, well I thought that was the first really mathematical and visualizable, topological map of how people relate to each other that really did have the precision of science, and really could be used to make predictions.

KT:  And when did you first meet Leary, himself?

RAW:  In, 1964, in Millbrook.

PG:  Keeping in mind this scientific approach to analyzing or predicting human behavior, and again to tie in here with what went on in Millbrook and your experiences there, do you think Richard Albert, Baba Ram Dass, has totally missed the boat, or do you think that some of what he does and says makes sense as far as personal application to modern life?

RAW:  Well, that’s like, “the armadillo missed the boat, should we all be elephants?”  Really, Ram Dass is the on the right trip for Ram Dass.  If you ever investigate how much charitable work he’s doing to help people who are suffering, it’s absolutely staggering.  How can anybody say that’s the wrong thing to do?  It’s the right thing for him.  I think that anybody who goes through the psychedelic or yogic experience comes out different, and evolution always produces differences – the spotted owl, and the goose, and the mosquito, and the shark, and the Congress of the United States, and some of them I find ugly, and some of them I find attractive, but they’re all part of the evolutionary process.  I wish that there were less of them that looked like the Congress, and that more of them had the beauty of sharks or hummingbirds.

KT:  As long as we’re on the topic of Congress, or we’ve moved there, can I get your impressions on the current presidential race?

RAW:  Well, you know there’s selective nouns for birds – there’s a parliament of owls, and a exultation of hawks.  The word for turkeys is a congress of turkeys, and that’s exactly what we’ve got in Washington.

KT:  How true, how true.

RAW:  There’s one character down there – I was listening to a talk show on the radio yesterday – who wrote over $400,000 worth of bad checks in his Congressional career.  They not only can’t balance the national budget, they can’t balance their own budget.  The amazing thing is, these people were ordinary human beings, just like you and me before they went into politics, and moved to whatever planet it is that they live on now.  Which has no contact at all with reality or financial responsibility, obviously.

KT:  Do you favor any particular candidate in this race this year?

RAW:  Wile E. Coyote.

KT:  Wile E. Coyote!  Beep-beep!  Listen, we’re going to have to wind this up – I think we’ve taken an hour of your time.  I think we’ll have plenty to be able to put otgether a program on.  Um, are there any last thoughts?  Anything you want to communicate to our listeners?

RAW:  Yeah, a phrase from William Butler Yeats, a great Irish poet. “A statesman is an easy man, he tells his lies by rote.  A journalist invents his lies, and rams them down your throat.  So stay at home and drink your beer and let the neighbors vote.

KT:  (laughs)  Thank you.  This has been “Off the Beaten Path”, and you’ve been listening to Robert Anton Wilson, author of Reality is What You Can Get Away With, and publisher of Trajectories newsletter and the author of the famousIlluminatus! trilogy.  And with that, we’re going to power down…

The Meeting of Science and Mysticism

New theories in physics suggest that “no man is an island” and “the greatest is within the smallest”

By Robert Anton Wilson

 from Fate, May 1992

In 1964 Dr. John Stewart Bell, an Irishman working at CERN nuclear research centre (Switzerland) published a mathematical paper that staggered the scientific world. The central idea of the paper-now Called Bells Theorem – suggested new views about reality so hair-raising that even Dr. Bell himself repudiates most of the interpretations by other physicists about what his mathematics imply.

Bell’s Theorem seems to portray a universe far weirder than science has previously realized – so weird, in fact, that it hauntingly resembles many “mystical” and “superstitious” ideas of the past. For instance, I shook hands with the editor of a Berlin magazine a month ago. Since our hands touched, according to Bell, some particles in my hand remain, and always will remain, in a kind or correlation or “union” with some particles in the editor’s hand. Mystics have talked about such linkages all through history, of course, but science never took such ideas seriously – until Bell came along.

Since so much dispute rages about Bell’s demonstration, we should use careful language in discussing it.

What Bell’s math showed was that 1) if we accept an objective universe separate from our ideas, and 2) if the equations of quantum (sub-atomic) physics accurately describe that universe, then 3) any two particles that once contacted each other continue to “influence” each other, or remain “parts of a unified system,” no matter how far apart they subsequently move in space or in time-even if they move to opposite ends of the universe.

Bell’s math thus suggests that space and time only exist on some levels of the universe-or only in our minds-or that we must assume a level of reality where space and time don’t exist at all. “Here is there,” says physicist Dr. Nick Herbert, when explaining Bell’s Theorem.” There is no difference between anything,” he adds with a twinkle in his eye.

THE BILLIARD TABLE EXAMPLE

To visualize what this means, and how it differs from all previous science, imagine an ordinary billiard table.

In Newtonian physics, if a ball (let’s call it B), moves, it’s because it is hit by another ball (which we can call A).This accords with the standard mechanical picture of the universe, which most people still identify with “science” with a capital S.

However, in field physics (pioneered in the 19th century by James Clerk Maxwell), ball B might move and ball A along with it, not because of mechanical collisions, but because a magnet below the table has created an electromagnetic field, which causes the balls to jump in a certain direction. Field theories, while in a sense less “materialistic” than mechanical collision theories, still involve connection, interaction and causality. They still live in “the same ball park” as mechanical theories.

In Einstein’s General Relativity, we find a third kind of causality. The balls might move because of the seeming flatness of the table, which we see, only appears on the small scale. On a larger scale the table actually curves. (In the Einstein universe the planets orbit the sun because space itself curves, even though we can’t see the curvature directly and have to deduce it mathematically.) This moves us even further from collision models than the field theories do, but Einstein remains in a ball park we can visualize-with a little extra effort. Einsteinian space-time involves connections, interaction and a kind of determinism-geometric determinism. The mass of matter determines the curvature of space, and the curvature of space determines the movement of matter.

In all these kinds of scientific explanations-the mechanical, the field theory and the geometric (curvature) Theory-the cause of the movement of the billiard balls can be pictured in a mental image and, once we understand the theory, it makes sense to us.

In Bell’s universe, however, ball A and ball B might moves without any of these three types of causes (the only types of causes science recognizes) -and perhaps without any cause at all! In other words, A moves because B moves or B moves because A moves and we seemingly cannot say anything more about the movements. Maybe we can’t even say the much since the word “because” doesn’t really seem to fit this case.

Imagine yourself in a room with such a billiard table. Ball A at one end of the table suddenly turns clockwise and exactly at that moment ball B at the other end turns counter-clockwise. You observe carefully that nobody pushed the balls or fired another ball at them. You check under the table and find no hidden magnets to create field effects. You then think of Einstein and geometry, but when you check, the table has no curvature of any sort. You look at the table again and ball A turns counter-clockwise while ball B turns clockwise. That sort of thing usually only happen in movies about haunted house.

SPOOKS,FLIM-FLAM OR…

At this point you would probably say, “spooks!” or something similar. James Randi would shout “Fraud!” or “Flim-flam!”

That’s just about what most physicists said when Bell’s Theorem was published. The math was absolutely irrefutable, but the conclusion seemed impossible to believe.

Several experiments, however – most notably, those by Dr. Clauser of the University of California at Berkeley and Dr Aspect at the optical institute in Orsay, France – have shown that atomic particles behave exactly as Bell said they should. For instance, in Aspect’s most recent experiment two photons (particles of light) ejected from a common source (a mercury atom) acted just as Bell predicted, or just like the billiard balls in our illustration. Whenever the photon manifested the mathematical state called “spin up,” the other photon measured “spin down.” This happened despite the total absence of any form ofconnection or cause known to science.

ANOTHER MODEL

To be even clear about how “mystical” this seems, let me paraphrase a life – size model once used by Dr. Bell in a lecture.

Imagine two men who live in Paris and Mexico City. Imagine that we keep them under observation continually and discover that every time the man in Paris wears red socks, the man in Mexico City wears Blue socks. Now suppose we check every possible communication system and prove that no way exists for the two men to send messages to each other – they can’t get near a phone or shortwave radio or telegraph or any similar device. Then we take the red socks of the man in Paris and put blue socks on him. Immediately – with not a fraction of a second of time delay – the man in Mexico City sits down, takes of his red socks and puts on blue socks.

Even stranger, this would happen every single time we tried the experiment if the man behaved like the atomic particles in Bell’s Theorem and the experiments of Clauser and Aspect.

WHAT IT MEANS

What the deuce can this mean? Physicists remain in violent disagreement with each other about the question, but all the answers are equally astounding to ordinary folks.

According to Dr. David Bohm of the University of London, “It may mean that everything in the universe is in a kind of total rapport, so that whatever happens is related to everything else; or it may be that there is some kind of information that can travel faster than the speed of light: or it may mean that our concepts of space and time have to be modified in some way that we don’t now understand.” (London Times, February 20, 1983.)

A HOLISTIC UNIVERSE

Consider the first alternative. If “what happens is related to everything else,” we live in the kind of holistic Universe described by the mystics of the East, especially the Hindus and Buddhists. In the humorous metaphor of Charles Fort, a a bear coughs at the north pole, a bottle of Ketchup will fall out of a wind on in New York City. In the more grim metaphors of Buddhism, if a single angry or cruel act (or thought) occurs anywhere, every sentient being in the universe will feel the effects. In the poetic language of the Englishman, John Donne: No man is an island…if a clod of Spain be washed away, Europe is the less…Each man’s death diminishes me, for I am involved in humanity.

This “non-local connection” (as some call it) may mean that if you have touched a pair of dice your brain can then exercise some control over them, just as most gamblers think. This sounds some wild, science-fiction elaboration of Bell, but it has been seriously proposed by Dr. Evan Harris Walker, an American physicist who deduced, from Bell’s math and the math of Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle* just how the human brain should be able to affect the dice.

In The Complete Quantum Anthropologist, Dr. Walker demonstrates that this mathematically theoretical limit of control – “mind over matter” – corresponds exactly to the degree of control demonstrated by Hakoon Forwald, a retired electrical engineer, in a long-running series of experiments on “psychokinesis.” Forwald’s subjects in the years between 1949 and 1970 tried to influence dice by brain power and score just as far above chance as Walker’s math says they should have scored.

It does not seem far from this “psychokinesis” to the traditional belief that if a sorcerer gets a hold of a strand of your hair, anything he does will eventually affect your hair.

INFORMATION WITHOUT TRANSPORTATION

Before we get spooked too much by this line of thought, let us look at Dr. Bohm’s second alternative:”

Information that can travel faster than the speed of light,” Since no energy can travel faster than the speed of light, this means information without energy. Another physicist, Dr. Jack Sarfatti, has called it “information without transportation.” Such ghostly information moving around without energy or transportation to carry it might explain the kind of things that parapsychologists call telepathy or precognition or ESP.

This sounds a medieval as the sorcerer working magic on a lock of hair, doesn’t it? Nonetheless, two physicists from Stanford Research International (now SRI International), Dr. Harold Puthoff and Dr. Russell Targ, in their book Mind Reach, offer it as an explanation of “distant viewing” (telepathy across thousands of miles.)

TIME TRAVEL

Even more bizarre, as Dr. Sarfatti has pointed out in many lectures, “information without transportation: could travel into the past. You see, in Relativity Theory, going faster than the speed of light seems impossible because it means going backwards in time. Some interpretations of Bell, however, suggest that information can indeed go backwards in time. This leads to speculations that have previously only appeared in science fiction, not in science.

For instance, it leads to the “Grandfather paradox.” Thus: if I had a time machine, went back to the 1890’s, and for some perverse reason murdered my grandfather before he could marry my grandmother, then when I came back to 1992 I wouldn’t find myself here, would I? Where would I exist, if I existed at all? It seems from a theoretical mathematic basis I would dwell in a parallel universe – one in which I remained sane enough not to go back in time to kill my granddad. But this universe, where poor old granddad, would still exist – except that my father and I wouldn’t live in it.

The same logic that governs such a sci-fi time machine applies to “information that moves faster than light.” If I could send Bell’s kind of information into the past, my grandfather might receive it. He might alter his actions in such a way that I wouldn’t get born in this universe anymore. I would have sent the information from the universe next door, so to speak.

If that doesn’t boggle your mind, consider a further development suggested by Dr. John Archibald Wheeler, often called the father of the Hydrogen bomb. In the Science Digest of October 1984, Dr. Wheeler suggests that the current and recent scientific experiments on atomic energy literally created this universe (or “selected” it out of all possible universes).

In other words, every time we meddle with an atomic system, according to Dr. Wheeler, the  “non-local” effects go every which way into space and time, and some of them affect the nature of the Big Bang from which the universe emerged. You see, Dr. Wheeler has often argued that many, many universes emerged from the Big Bang – more than 10,000-million-million-million-million-million-million-million-million-million-million-million-million-million-million-million-million-million-million of them, at least – all of them stacked up in parallel to ours in “super-space,” a geometrical construct he invented to solve some of the problems with General Relativity. Dr. Wheeler now argues, in the light of Bell’s Theorem, that we have, through our experiments, “fine-tuned” the Big Bang to produce the kind of universe in which we can exist and can conduct such experiments. Zillions and Zillions of other universes, without our meddling, evolve in different ways, and most of them collapse inward again very shortly after the Big Bang and thus never produce human beings.

SPACE AND TIME MIGHT NOT EVEN EXIST

 

Then we have Dr. Bohm’s third alternative: “Our concepts of space and time will have to be modified in some way we do not understand. “Many philosophers have examined this idea in the past – especially the Buddhists in the East and Bishop Berkeley and Immanuel Kant in Europe. All come to the same conclusion, basically. Space and time don’t exist “out there,” apart from us. The human brain just invented them to have a filing system for its impressions.

Dr. Nick Herbert presents a scientific form of this theory in his book, Quantum Reality. According to Dr. Herbert, all experience remains “local” (bound by space and time) but reality itself exists “non-locally” (not bound by space and time, or “transcendental”) in exactly the sense of all mystic teachings.

Dr. Bohm states the same idea in a more precise way. As he sees it, the universe may consist of an implicate order much like the software (programs) of a computer and an explicate order, much like the hardware – what we can see and experience – has locality. It remains here, not there, and now, not then.  The implicative order or software, however – which we cannot see or experience but only deduce from our experiments and math – has total non-locality. It exists both here and there, both now and then.

In this model we do not need to posit information without transportation or any of the spook stuff. The information does not travel without a medium because it does not travel at all; it exists already, always, everywhere. In every electron, in every atom, in every molecule, every stone, every animal or person, every planet, every galaxy, however different their locations in space and time, the basic information, or universal blueprint (Bohm’s implicate order) remains the same.

This sounds very much like the Hindu concept of God or the Chinese Tao. In fact Bohm’s implicate order exactly fits Lao-Tse’s paradox of the Tao: “The greatest is within the smallest.” It also strikingly resembles the major axiom of Hermetic mysticism in the West: “That which is above is reflected in that which is below.”

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR BACK IS TURNED?

There remains one way to avoid all of these shocking and bizarre sounding interpretations of John S. Bell’s discovery. That way is to deny the first step of the argument – that we can posit an objective universe separate from our ideas. This path, thus far, has appeared only in the works of Dr. David Mermin of Columbia University. In two astounding papers – “Quantum Mysteries for Everyone” and “ Is the Moon There When Nobody Looks?”- Dr. Mermin argues that quantum physics (the physics of small particles, from which Bell began) finally makes sense if we assume the universe only exists when we look at it. If you don’t look at your automobile, and nobody else looks at it, it ceases to exist until somebody looks at it again. Then it pops back into reality – presto!

This theory, known as “solipsism,” has never appealed to scientists or philosophers, although a few cynics have always argued in favor of it, just to annoy the orthodox. Nobody seems to have ever taken itseriously – until now. Dr. Mermin soberly claims that solipsism leads to less absurd results than any other way of interpreting Bell’s math.

I don’t think Dr. Mermin intends to make a joke. He truly fins solipsism less unthinkable than ghostly information moving every which way in space and time with no medium to carry it, or parallel universes being created out of nothing whenever an atomic measurement is made, or the other alternatives that physicists are considering in trying to understand Bell’s theorem.

SCIENCE AND MYSTICISM JOINED?

In summary, Bell’s theorem does not prove the truth of the basic ideas of mysticism, but it definitely makes them seem more plausible than any previous scientific discovery did. Any alternative explanation of the non-local reality described by Bell does not bring us safely home to “common sense.”  The other explanations sound even stranger than anything that mystics have ever claimed. We can only conclude, as the great biologist J.B.S. Haldane did after experimenting with yoga, that “The universe may be, not only queerer than we think, but queerer than we can think.”

For five years(1966-1971) Robert Anton Wilson was Associate Editor of Playboy, Since 1971 he has worked as futurist, novelist, playwright, poet, lecturer and stand up comic. He has 25 books in print, including the Illuminatus trilogy. His latest work, Reality Is What You Can Get Away With, will be published in May by Dell books. Wilson’s play Wilhelm Reich in Hell, was performed at the Edmund Burke Theatre in Dublin in 1986, in Portland, Maine and Long Beach, California, in 1989. The play was read on WBAI (New York) in March, 1989. Wilson is featured in the video Borders, which has been shown on many PBS TV stations and won the first prize in “visions of the future” at the Whole Life Expo IN San Francisco in 1989.

Editor’s note: The Uncertainty Principle is that “the accurate measurement of one or two related, observable quantities, as position and momentum or energy and time, produce uncertainties in the measurement of the other, such that the product of the uncertainties of both quantities is equal to or greater than h / 2 pi, where h equals Plank’s constant. “ [ – from The Random House Dictionary of the Englaih Language]. Simply put, the principle means that you can know either the position or motion of a particle, but not both.

High Times Interview, 1991

The HIGH TIMES Interview:
Robert Anton Wilson

 by Philip H. Farber

from High Times # 195, November 1991

Based on Robert Anton Wilson’s incredible and varied career, it’s hard to know what to expect when you meet him. This is a guy who spent five years in the ’60s as an editor of Playboy, then went on to coauthor (with Robert Shea) the mind-boggling llluminatus! (cut into a trilogy by its publisher), got his PhD in psychology, wrote the “new-age” classic Cosmic Trigger, collaborated on two books with Timothy Leary, wrote a whole bunch more on his own, released a punk-rock album, and toured as a stand-up comedian. Robert Anton Wilson has expanded as many minds with his books as all the Sandoz acid ever manufactured.

A small surprise, then, to finally see this white–bearded, Buddha-like man dressed in the same casual suit that your college physics professor wore-a slightly wacky Buddha, to be sure, cracking jokes and reciting Monty Python routines in a pleasantly gruff Brooklyn accent. Wilson’s conversation is startlingly like his books, his words tying together an amazing diversity of facts, theories and punchlines in a way that gently prods at your sense of reality.

Oh well, as Wilson’s readers know well enough, it’s always fun to watch as your preconceptions are blown to little, tiny bits.

HIGH TIMES: Who do you think is responsible for the “War on Drugs?”

Robert Anton Wilson: I suppose the Eli Lilly Company.

HT: How do you figure that?

RAW: The War on Drugs is chiefly a war on pot, according to Judge Sweet. Eighty-five percent of the drug budget is going into pursuing pot-smokers. They’re trying to drive pot off the market because the CIA is a making a big profit out of the cocaine business, and Eli Lilly provides the materials that the Colombians need to make cocaine out of the coca. So they want to keep the cocaine business going. By the way, do you know who owns Eli Lilly?

HT: No, I don’t.

RAW: The Quayle family owns a large part and George Bush owns a large part.

HT: How much do you think the US government is involved in maintain­ing that supply of materials from Eli Lilly to Colombia?

RAW: Well, the government isn’t doing anything to stop Eli Lilly from sending those materials down to Colombia and there’s lots of cases where the CIA has been caught red-handed laundering drug money. They were running a bank in Florida a few years ago – the WorId Finance Corporation – which was mainly a cocaine-money laundromat. And then there was a bank in Australia which the CIA was running, which was laun­dering heroin money [The Nugan Hand Bank; see Jan. ’91 HT]. Most of their banks were tied in with the Swiss Alpine Bank in the Bahamas, which was run by Roberto Calvi, and Archbishop Marcinkus, so they could run the money through the Vatican Bank, where it leaves no record.

HT: I’ve noticed that a lot of the so-called anti-drug propaganda is phrased in a strange, negative fash­ion-sort of reverse suggestion. For instance, “Keep on smoking crack and you’ll end up with nothing,” could be taken as a suggestion to keep smoking crack. Do you think this is deliberate, or are they just stupid?

RAW: Never underestimate the stupid­ity of the establishment in this country. The stupidity of the establishment approaches to infinity.

HT: The executive branch of the government, the CIA and the Vatican Bank are pretty monolithic institutions to be working against. Do you think there is much chance of cannabis being legalized in America?

RAW: Yes, because there are more and more people becoming aware of the valuable properties of hemp, thanks to Jack Herer and a lot of others-but especially Jack Herer. There are more and more people who know that we could be running our cars on hemp oil and not polluting the air the way that ­petroleum pollutes the air. A lot of people know that we can print books on hemp paper, and that will slow down the destruction of the forests. A lot of facts like that are becoming more widely known. It’s an uphill battle against deception, greed and igno­rance – but it’s not hopeless.

HT: Are there some ways to do this that you think haven’t been fully explored, but can be?

RAW: I think we should study the samizdat methods that were used in the Soviet Union to transmit information when the censorship was so strict there. We’ve got computer networks, that’s one avenue for distributing information. Meanwhile, we do have alternative radio. We have Pacifica and National Public Radio where a lot of information gets out that can’t get into the major media. I think more and more people are aware of that while listening to those radio stations.

HT: We’ve been talking about hemp being legalized. What do you think is the possibility of any psychedelic being legalized or even just accepted by the public?

RAW: I’m beginning to think that there’s a real chance that research will be legalized again. There are more and more people in the psychotherapeutic professions who are speaking out, and it has been re-legalized for research purposes in several countries in Europe: in Switzerland, Germany and Holland, among others. There is defi­nitely a movement toward, at least, legalizing research again. It does seem, with the passing of time, that more and more people can see how stupid it is to forbid scientific research in an area where the research that was done thirty years ago was so promising.

There was evidence, in the early sixties when research was legal, that LSD was useful in the treatment of alcoholism, schizophrenia – all sorts of psychological problems. Leary took a bunch of convicts, and when he was through with his therapy, the over­whelming majority of them never com­mitted another crime for the rest of their lives. And for as far as the follow-up studies followed them, they were still law-abiding citizens – the most astonishing feat in the history of behavioral science! There was all the evidence that people learn languages faster with acid. And there was the research on religious experiences, like the Good Friday Experiment.

All of that was so promising that it’s hard to believe that we can return to the days of the Holy Inquisition, and that promising areas of scientific research can be forbidden indefinitely. Especially, as I said, when it’s begin­ning to open up in Europe.

HT: You mentioned the Good Friday Experiment – what was that?

RAW: That was an experiment in the early sixties where twenty theology students were in a chapel on Good Friday and ten of them got psilocybin and ten of them got placebos. The ten who got psilocybin all had mystical experiences of the highest quality.

HT: What kind of research is being done in Europe, that you know of?

RAW: Mostly, it’s clinical. All that I’ve read about is just that therapists are allowed to use it in the treatment of their patients.

HT: Is there a way that you’d like to see psychedelics used by this society?

RAW: My personal opinion, based on what was done in the sixties, and what has been done underground-in a clan­destine way since-is that it’s proba­bly the wonder drug of the twentieth century, much more than penicillin. Intelligently used, acid has nearly infi­nite potential.

HT: Do you think that a resurgence in psychedelic use now would pro­duce the same kind of cultural ferment that it did in the sixties – bringing ideas up to the surface?

RAW: Undoubtedly. The main effect of psychedelics is to break down conditioned and imprinted circuits in the brain. You start using your brain in new ways, which means new impres­sions, new perceptions and new ideas.

HT: How can clandestine experi­menters with psychedelics approach these experiences?

RAW: It should be approached seriously, with a religious attitude or an attitude of philosophical inquiry.

HT: What do you mean by a reli­gious attitude?

RAW: An expectation that your whole world is going to collapse and that you’re going to be reborn. If you don’t expect that, if you think you’re just having fun, you’re likely to have a terrible shock which can frighten you.

HT: That kind of experience might be frightening to a lot of people.

RAW: It is. It causes acute paranoia in politicians who’ve never used it, and it’s done some damage to people who have tried it. If they’re not prepared properly.

HT: Do you think electronic highs – light and sound machines, or electro­magnetic headsets – can fulfill some of the same uses?

RAW: Not yet, but I think we’re get­ting closer to that all the time. I expect within two or three years we will have electronic equivalents. There are dif­ferent machines that are approaching it from different angles, I don’t know where the breakthrough will occur. There are so many different types of brain-altering machines that someone is going to come up with one that acts just like LSD.

HT: You sometimes talk about the evolutionary value of stupidity in connection with the development of these machines….

RAW: Yeah, I’ve often wondered why there’s so much stupidity in the world. It’s got to be serving some function. Nothing survives a long-term evolution unless it has a function. And I finally decided that the function of stupidity is to force the intelligent to become more intelligent. The Inquisition vastly accelerated science, and I think that the New Inquisition that we’re currently living through has inspired all sorts of creative work that wouldn’t have hap­pened if LSD had remained legal. People wouldn’t have been searching into so many alternatives if they’d had LSD available for legal research.

HT: In your recent novel, Nature’s God, you’ve got these great scenes with George Washington smoking some herb in his campaign tent. Is this purely fiction, or do you think that cannabis really was influential in the founding of the United States?

RAW: Oh, George was a pothead! That was documented by Dr. Michael Aldrich back in the sixties. I quote a lot of the documentation in two of my previous books, in one of the appen­dices to Illuminatus!, and in Sex and Drugs[Playboy Press, ’73].

HT: Is there something inherent in cannabis that had people thinking about independence?

RAW: You know, the first hemp law we had in this country obliged farmers to grow it. Hemp was considered so valuable that they wanted everybody who owned a farm to grow some. Yeah, hemp played a major role in American history. The Constitution was written on hemp paper. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp. All of our early ships were built largely out of hemp.

HT: What about the buzz itself? Did that altered state affect the thought and events that were going on at that time?

RAW: Yeah. Pancho Villa was another pothead. I think if you compare the military campaigns of Washington and Villa, you’ll see that they were both influenced by marijuana. They were very nonlinear, that’s why they kept going so long against such impossible odds. The British were thinking in a linear, Aristotelian way, and Washington was thinking in a nonlinear way. That’s how he wore them down over six years.

HT: Do you think there is a way to approach the headspace of George Washington for the purpose of gain­ing individual autonomy, which seems to be the present battle?

RAW: There’s a Sufi word, that I don’t remember, for the man who drinks wine in secret and doesn’t get caught.  Jesus said, “Be as harmless as doves and as subtle as serpents.” In a mad world, one has to pretend to be at least partly mad in order to pass as normal.  Or, as J.R. “Bob” Dobbs says-Praise “Bob” – “Act like a dumb shit and they’ll treat you like an equal.”

HT: Do you think that the rise of strange new religions – like the Church of the SubGenius [who “worship” J.R. “Bob” Dobbs] – is having some effect on the culture?

RAW: When I first started talking about these deliberately surrealist religions, ten years ago, most people had never heard of them. Now when I talk about them, people in the audience have already heard of them, and they yell “Praise ‘Bob'” and “Hail Eris” and things like that. I was at MIT recently and I saw in one of the men’s rooms, written on the wall, “‘Bob is the only hope now.” So, definitely, these religions are impacting all over our culture.  There was an Atari computer a while back that, when you first tired to use the printer, it printed out a hundred “Bob” heads before it would do anything else.

HT: Was that intentional or a virus.

RAW: That was somebody at Atari.  Atari gave up trying to find out who did it and just sent a letter of explanation to people who complained.  People were writing in and saying, “Why is my computer printing out pictures of Hugh Hefner?” I never realized “Bob” looked like Hugh Hefner until I read that.

HT: Is the Discordian Church, such as it ever was, still at large?

RAW; Oh, it’s very active.

HT: What’s the evidence of that?

RAW; The Chaos Computer Club in Germany-they infiltrated the whole American defense [computer] system.

HT: Are there Discordians active to that extent in the USA?

RAW: One hears rumors.

The Sixties: a flashback

The Sixties: a flashback

by Robert Anton Wilson

 from Magical Blend, #32, Oct. 1991

How many does it take to metamorphose

wickedness into righteousness?

One man must not kill.

If he does it is murder.

But a slate or nation may

kill as many as they please,

and it is not murder …

Only get enough people to agree to it,

and the butchery of

myriads of human beings is

perfectly innocent.

But how many does it take?

-Adin Ballow, 1845

The tear-gas bombs started to explode, spreading a smog of corrosive conjunctivitis among indignant, out-raged eyes. The police fixed their Baby-Blue riot helmets, took out their clubs and, with the honest joy of simple men who love their work, began cracking Peacenik skulls. Bob Shea and I ran down the street, escaping. It was Chicago, 1968.

I was there to protest the war-mongering of the U.S. Government, which had dragged our country into one war after another ever since 1937. Shea was more recently disillusioned with our Wonderful Leaders than I was, but by 1968 he was fed up, too.

We looked back and saw the cops clubbing some demonstrators who couldn’t run as fast as we did, and some who were Gandhians and/or masochists-the Holy Madmen who “put their bodies on the line” for peace. Neither Shea nor I were quite that religious.

“Motherfucker,” somebody howled as a cop bashed him. I could tell from the tone of voice that this was not an insult directed at the cop. It was an exclamation of outraged pain, just as “Son of a bitch!” may often be an exclamation of surprise or even joy.

Most of the demonstrators-except the Weathermen-were genuinely shocked at the violence of the police. They were college kids and middle-aged liberals who had no knowl­edge of the bloody saga of American radicalism. Like the Weathermen, t was neither shocked nor outraged. I had read enough about the history of labor unions to know that, whenever the Establishment is annoyed, they send the cops to beat the shit out of people.

The Concerned Clergymen started singing “We Shall Overcome” again, but were drowned out by the Weathermen chanting “One Two Three Four. We Don’t Want Your Fucking War.”

Deep in my heart

I do believe

We shall overcome

Some da-aay

We Don’t Want Your Fucking War

“Commie bastards….”

“The Feast of Pure Reason,” I said to Shea as we huffed and puffed along.

We ducked into a bar on Michigan Avenue and grabbed a table. I ordered two Bloody Marys. The plush leather and the technicolor bottles of booze on the wall all looked wonder-fully normal and reassuring after what we had been through. I looked at the silvery mirrors with me and Shea and a room full of strangers in them: a net of jewels, each of which reflects and is reflected in each of the others.

Our eyes were still running slightly. On the TV, we could see cops clubbing demonstrators. Voices were chanting, “The Whole World Is Watching, The Whole World Is Watching.” The camera cut to the Hon. Senator Abraham Ribicoff, inside the convention, denouncing the Hon. Mayor Richard Daly for allowing the police to attack nonviolent protestors. The Hon. Mr. Daly, of the family Suidea, shouted some-thing back, greenly empurpled, but the mike didn’t pick it up; from the look on the Hon. Daly’s face, the network probably would have bleeped his words if they had picked them up.

Shea and I drank, thoughtfully, wiping our burning eyes. We knew we were going back out again, in a little while. Our commitment was undefined verbally but we both understood it. We would go out there into the streets and risk getting clubbed but we would not stand still and submit to the clubbing if we could escape. I think almost everybody, except the Hard Core Pacifists, had that attitude.

Eight hours before, at the Playboy Club, l had had lunch with Allen Ginsberg and William S. Burroughs, who had both come to Chicago to join the protests against the Vietnam war. I was a Playboy editor then and enjoyed ordering lunch for two of my favorite living writers and putting the tab on my gold Playboy V.I.P. card. The three of us had talked mostly about the poetry of Ezra Pound and very little about the risks we were going to run that night. That was when Ginsberg told me about his remark-able meeting with Pound in Rapollo, Italy. The old man, bent and guilty and looking like Remorse in an allegory, listened to Allen cordially but refused to talk himself, except to issue one bitter self-condemnation for the “stupid, suburban anti-semitism” of his middle years.

I had asked what Allen said to that. Allen told me he quoted I Ching: “No blame.” Pound, still morose, had said nothing in reply.

Shea and I finished our drinks and gingerly stepped out into Chaos and Mother Night again. A horde of Weathermen were tined up in Grant Park, looking like cowboys too poor to have their jeans cleaned. I suspected that, like everybody else from SOS I had ever met, they were from well-to-do families. In accord with the Marxist texts they had memorized, they systematically taunted the police – trying to provoke another attack.

“Pigs Eat Shit, Pigs Eat Shit,” they chanted, over and over. “Pigs Eat Shit Pigs Eat Shit Pigs Eat Shit …”

I thought of poor old Pound, driven honkers by his hatred of war, so that eventually it degenerated into hatred of Jews in his blind, helpless fury, just because he needed a target more localized and tangible than human folly. The Weathermen went on chanting, and I realized, in a shock like a Joycean epiphany, that when opposition to violence becomes hatred of violence it immediately gestates its own violence.

The cops fired more tear-gas cannisters and the Weathermen retreated, still chanting, “Pigs Eat Shit … Pigs Eat Shit…. “

The gassing and clubbing went on for hours… but by now it is as effectively erased from national memory as the much worse police brutality and flagrant bloodshed when the cops broke the unions in Flint, Michigan, and Harlan County, Kentucky, and Paterson, New Jersey, and other places in the early ’30s. It is the business of the schools, and the media, to see that such episodes are not remembered (except by the embittered survivors, who cannot be persuaded to forget). The next gang of peaceful protesters will be just as shocked and outraged when the cops are let loose upon them.

(submitted to RAWilsonFans by RMJon23)

The Illuminatus saga stumbles along

The Illuminatus saga stumbles along

by Robert Anton Wilson

from Mystery Scene Magazine, No. 27, October 1990.  Reprinted in Prometheus: The Journal of the Libertarian Futurist Society, Vol 13, no 2, Spring 1995.

Bob Shea and I began the Illuminatus series in 1969, inspired directly by our work as co-editors of The Playboy Fo­rum. The Forum (not to be confused with The Playboy Advisor) deals with civil liberties, the rights of the individual, and abuses of government power. Natu­rally, in addition to a great many intelli­gent letters from people justifiably indignant about real cases of unconstitu­tional behavior by judges and legisla­tors, the Forum – especially in those days – received a lot of paranoid rantings from people imagining totally baroque conspiracies. One day, either Shea or I­ – we don’t remember which-asked whimsically, “Suppose all these nuts are right, and every single conspiracy they complain about really exists.”

Thus, the Illuminatus saga was born. The idea was simple-a novel, perched midway between satire and melodrama, and also delicately balancing between “proving” the case for multiple con­spiracies and undermining the “proof.” Of course, if Shea and 1 had any real sense of the market we would have real­ized that such a deliberately ambiguous work was not going to have immediate commercial appeal. But once we got started, the writing was so much fun we simply forgot about The Plain Reader in Duluth. We, alas, were writing for some kind of Elite (or Cult). Worse yet: we didn’t even know it, or have a clear idea of which Elite-Cult we were writing for. We had created an unsolved (perhaps unsolvable) mystery that was not merely puzzling like Agatha Christie but dumb­founding, flabbergasting, and more than a bit unnerving-like Nietzsche, Wittgenstein, or modern philosophy in general.

The commercial results of this ven­ture in guerrilla ontology were not quite as bad as you might expect. It took over five years to get such a weird book pub­lished, true-and the refrain “I can’t understand that dammed thing” was heard from Senior Editors as often as “1 love it” from Junior Editors-but when it finally got into print, in 1975, the tril­ogy received almost uniformly good re­views everywhere. We even earned fairly decent royalties the first year (al­though we were both so inexperienced that we didn’t realize how rare that was). Illuminatus became a successful Rock Opera in London (1976) and did equally well on the road in Liverpool, Amsterdam, and Frankfurt. English and German editions of the book were pub­lished.

Then the road became rocky. The book sold “steadily, but slowly” and within two years Dell let it go out of print. Nobody wanted to import the play to the United States. Options on the movie rights lapsed. The English edition also went out of print. Nobody wanted to publish it in any other languages. Only the German edition continued to sell.

Then Dell brought out a new print­ing, which also sold “steadily, but slowly” and went out of print in about a year. .. And this was repeated several times. Every time we thought the book was safely afloat again, it sank one more time.

It was 11 years after original publica­tion (1986) before Dell decided to keep the book in print continually. By then, the English edition was back in print, too-but although several of my other books have appeared in a variety of languages, Illuminatus still remains available only in English and German. In the last three years (i.e., 13 to 15 years after publication) the combined royal­ties have increased suddenly and steeply; last year the royalties were as high as any five years in the mid-80s. More and more in-jokes referring to the trilogy creep into other novels, movies and music videos. We have created some kind of “underground classic.” A comic book version is due out soon. The Rock Opera version has been optioned for the stage a few times, in this country, but has recently appeared only in Jerusa­lem.

I have become rather successful on the lecture circuit (and even have a small career as a stand-up comic) and thus have met a lot of Illuminatus fans – the “Elite” (or “Cult?”) that Shea and 1 did not know we were writing for. They tend to be youngish, and make a very motley group indeed-political liber­tarians, sci-fi buffs (Shea and I never thought of the book as science fiction while “We were writing it), neo-pagans, witches, Futurists, space colony advo­cates, longevity and vitamin freaks, and (among the more “mature”) a lot of psy­chologists, psychiatrists, radical M.D.s, and other professionals concerned with the illnesses of our nation. There are also a lot of people who don’t want the Feds taking their dope away, and an assort­ment of anti-IRS “cranks.”

As far as I can make out, the one bond uniting all these diverse groups-and separating them from others with simi­lar convictions-is a deep conviction that the government lies to us a lot, combined with a refusal to buy into any orthodox school of radical analysis. That is, they believe that any Ideology which claims to explain “what is really going on behind the lies” is just guess-work, and they feel that the jokes, insane exag­gerations and surrealistic twists of

Illuminatus are about as plausible, and about as implausible, as the sober, seri­ous, and totally humorless critiques of the New Left, the New Age or any other organized Counter-Culture. In short, while they agree with the Dissenter’s Credo–those people up there are li­ars-they also recognize the trained ex­pertise and elegant finesse of the really top-notch professional liars in govern­ment and media, and doubt that any­body is shrewd enough to guess what the hell is really going on, or who is really in charge of this planet, or if any­body is in charge at all.

Maybe these agnostic heretics are just plain weird, as I seem to be.

Shea has gone on to write a series of mainstream novels. I have gone on writ­ing increasingly weird and bizarre works of satire or fantasy (take your pick) that all go out of print and come back into print etc., just like Illuminatus. As of now, they are all back in print again, and selling better than ever. (Maybe the world is getting so spooky that my sur­realism seems normal.)

I don’t know that this is the best path for a writer, but it seems to be the only possible path for me. If I try to write for the common reader, the results are wooden and nobody wants to print them at all; if I follow my own peculiar hu­morthe books have a sales chart that goes up, and goes down, and goes up and down, but eventually finds a loyal audience.

(article provided to RAWilsonFans.com by Michael Johnson)